Sunday, December 31, 2006

Andi's Pictures

Andi had her birthday party yesterday. Dylan was jealous of her the whole time, so he was a super treat to deal with. Andi got her digital camera that Sam got for her on Ebay. So far, it's a real hit. Here are some pictures she's taken that turned out to be alright. She takes a lot of pictures where she cuts people's heads off, so she had a lot of pictures of people's chests. I'm keeping those pictures of Sam in a seperate folder ;). (Sorry, you didn't really need to know that). Anyway, here are some of her pictures.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Not Again

So, our third kid is now mobile. Peyton has started crawling around the floor to get things that he wants. He still can't fight off his siblings for anything, but at least now he'll be able to reach stuff that Andi puts just out of his grasp. Now we just need to keep him away from the stairs, and he should be ok.
I was driving home yesterday, and I switched it to a radio station that had just started playing 'You Give Love a Bad Name' by Bon Jovi. That station had just become my new favorite station. Then right after it, they played some yuppie hippie crap and they're not my favorite station anymore.
It's sad that it's already Thursday of the week that I have off. Why doesn't the work week go by this fast? I don't have a point, I'm just complaining.
Why do kids think balloons are so cool? Andi got a balloon when we went to Chuck E Cheese for her birthday, and she fights with Dylan all the time over the stupid balloon. It's not even floating any more, it's a plain old balloon now, but they still fight over it likes it's the greatest toy in the world. From now until my kids figure out that balloons really aren't cool, I'm getting them balloons for birthdays, Christmas, Easter, and whatever else they would get presents for.

I was the same way when I Was a kid. One time we went to Salt Lake and my cousins and I went to the zoo. We all got balloons there. We took the balloons home like a prized possesion and played with them like they were our new best friends. Well, my cousins ended up popping theirs, and my brother Jared lost his when he tried handing his to me when we were outside and forgot to tell me about it. I was so proud that I still had my balloon, and got to take it all the way home to Star Valley. I never realized that my parents probably thought the crying over the popped and lost balloons was super annoying, and my balloon that I got to take all the way home was probably floating all around the car or getting in the way of my dad's rear view mirror.

If you ever get a chance, watch a kid who just let go of a helium filled balloon in a parking lot. For a few seconds they watch in amazement as it floats up in the air above the buildings. Then that amazement turns to horror as they realize that the balloon isn't coming back. Then for the next 5 minutes they weep uncontrollably as if a close relative has just died. Poor parents. Ha ha!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Brain Damage

This is my angry old man post for the month...

If you've ever been to the grocery store with three small children, you know it's not an easy thing. You have to get everything on your list while trying to make sure your children aren't hitting, pinching, scratching, or pushing each other, that they're not running in front of other people's carts, and that they're not running away from your or trying to join someone else's family. After putting up with that, you don't feel like doing much besides going home and locking yourself in a sound proof room (which most people don't have) away from your children.

So we were driving home after being at the grocery store with our kids. I was just looking forward to getting home. We had made it all the way into our subdivision, and our house was in sight. Well, between where we were and our house, there is a collection of kids that must have brain damage. I say they must have brain damage, because they think that the street is their place to ride their bikes, play basketball or football, skateboard, or sunbathe, and that cars that try to drive in their street are such a nuisance. They take their dear sweet time getting their brain damaged selves out of the way when you're trying to drive through. The same thing was happening today, with a couple of skateboarding kids practicing their tricks in the freaking road. They saw me coming from a distance away, but didn't move. I kept coming, but they didn't move. I was 10 feet away from them, going 5 miles an hour because if I hit one of the retards, I'm the one that gets in trouble. One of the freaks didn't move until I had slowed to almost a stop so he could get his stupid idiot heinie out of my way.

I had tolerated these kids. They bother me, but I dealt with it and just slowed down and tried to understand that it takes longer for their brains to send impulses to the rest of their body because they're apparently retarded. But from now on, I'm going to start throwing eggs at them and calling them idiots whenever I see them. That may be immature and stupid, but they started it. Now I'm going to laugh a little harder the next time I see a video of a skateboarder that crashes by stradling a railing. Natural selection.

Bogus Birthday!

As many of you know, our "baby" turned 4 years old yesterday. How bad does that stink to have your birthday the day after Christmas? I'll give you a few reasons why it stinks. 1. Everyone is always too concerned with their own new toys to give a flip if it's your special day. "No, MY CHOO CHOO TWAIN!" (direct quote from Dylan.) 2. People are less likely to remember to call you. After all, they had just talked to you the day before, so that should count, right? WRONG! 3. There is no way to be able to have your birthday party on your birthday. Chances are most likely that your little friends will still be traveling home from Christmas visits, and be unable to attend. 4. Christmas wrapping paper. Now, my family has really been good about wrapping Andi's presents in birthday paper, but at Andi's party, I'm anticipating much Santa and snowman paper. Come on, you don't see someone getting Christmas paper in April or August do you? I didn't think so. And last but certainly not least is #5. The shopping! Sure you have all those after Christmas sales, but heaven help you if you need to go into the store to pick up your cake ON your birthday! Massive crowds of people, all eyeing the same 50% off Christmas tree! Oh, and I also should mention that your parents are too preoccupied with Christmas and preparations for visitors to even snap a picture...OOPS! Guess we dropped the ball on that one...we'll get her on Saturday at her party. At least we thought enough about it to BUY her a present, (although we still haven't given it to her) and take her to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch. Time to start celebrating the half birthday? Maybe...

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Christmas Eve

Andi and Dylan decorated some cookies for Santa. They had a lot of fun, and made a big mess.

Lucky Santa got these fine cookies from the Carter kids. Is there such a thing as too many sprinkles on a sugar cookie? Yes.

Our family gets Christmas pajamas on Christmas eve. Andi likes to match her mommy.

The Carter men look exceptionally handsome. (Well, the two smaller ones at least.) Check out Dylan's slippers. They're little cars. He thinks they're the coolest thing.

We make some good looking kids.

Friday, December 22, 2006

All Over the Place

What I've written below is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in my rambling, incoherent post was I even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone visiting this website will be dumber for having read it. Just so you know.

Did you know that TBS has Saved By the Bell on at 6:00 and 6:30 weekday mornings? Woo hoo! I found that out the last couple of mornings because the kids have been waking up early. This morning I was hoping that they would show part two of the To Be Continued episode they showed yesterday morning, but they didn’t. Now I’ll never know what happened after Lisa crashed Mr. Belding’s car. I like Full House too. You can make fun of me, I’m used to it.

Look, she's happy.
She probably didn't order
anything from her website.

I thought that if you placed an order online from a company that says they’ll process your order within one business day, and you had it sent via USPS Priority 2-3 days, that you would be able to get what you ordered within at least two weeks. Boy was I wrong. At this point Sam is getting shafted in the presents under the tree department. I’ll have to drop by Wal-Mart and pick up a can opener or an egg beater and find wrapping paper that has “Sorry” written all over it.
P.S. I hate you, Down East Basics.

This week has gone by so very slow. I woke up on Monday thinking it was Wednesday, so that got me thinking that the next two days were Thursday and that yesterday was Friday. Next week, when I don’t have to go to work, is going to fly by.

I’m not sure about this whole Iverson being traded to Denver thing. He is second in scoring in the league right now. Who’s first in scoring? His teammate, Carmelo “I’m gonna slap you and run away like a girl” Anthony. Between the two of them, they average 62 points a game. I don’t think that’s going to continue when they’re both playing. At least they can sit around and braid each other’s hair.
Best Friends 4 Ever

What should I get my dad for Christmas? He might want a potato peeler or a spatula. Who doesn’t want that?

Monday, December 18, 2006

Lets Put it to a Vote

Since we're putting the baby thing to a vote, why not make it a poll on our website? (Not that we really intend to include everyone in our family planning.) Go ahead and vote on that form in the right hand column. If it doesn't work, well, I didn't write the code for it. We'll leave it up there for a couple of weeks and see what happens.

Note added by Sami: After the last couple of days while having to deal with my existing children, I would almost be willing to change my vote...ALMOST. There's nothing like a teething 8 month old, who won't nap (and every time they DO, by some miracle nap, their two year old brother goes in and wakes them up) to change your perspective on procreation! Too bad the poll is anonymous...but thanks to all who voted!


Lately, Cameron and I have been debating about the possibility of having another baby. This is by no way an announcement of any kind, but since Peyton is nearly 8 months old, and we're usually expecting another one by the time our kids have their first birthday, the subject has come up. I'm pro having "just one more" to even out the score. Cameron is against it because we should "quit while we're ahead". We've been at a deadlock for weeks now, probably months, so we decided to take it to the jury. The other night we were driving home from the store, and this is the conversation (the best I could recall) that followed:

Me: "Andi, should mommy and daddy have another baby?"
Andi: "No"
Me: "No? You don't want another baby brother or sister?"
Andi: "No"
Me: "But if you have a sister, you can play dolls with someone."
Andi: "Momeeee" (in a slightly disgruntled tone)
Me: "Don't you want someone to play dolls with?"
Andi: "Nooooo."
Me: "Why not"
Andi: "Cause we've gots too much kids!"
Me: "Andi, am I annoying you?"
Andi: "Yes, stop annoying me, mommy!"

Cameron says we have to listen to her, I say the jury is still out. At least I know where she stands on the subject...

Added by Cameron:
We should listen to Andi. She's a smart girl. She knows that if we have one more kid we'll be stuck in mini van land for good. Who wants that?

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

There is a Santa Claus!

So, in my previous entry, I was...well, frustrated with the whole Ebay monopoly of toys, particularly the "Kid tough digital cameras", but my outlook has changed a bit since I WON A BID!!! I was at a Relief Society progressive dinner tonight, and I got home, and Cameron told me in a disgusted tone that "someone" had won one of "those things" for $61. I jokingly asked if it was me, and he told me that it was! I'm so excited. I actually got a camera for the same price I probably would have paid for it with tax and everything, and I had enough money in my Paypal account from taking online surveys to cover the shipping. I actually did make out like a bandit, and I'm happy that I will not have to find an alternative gift for Andi. There really must be a Santa Claus!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

What I know for sure...

Not only is Christmas becoming too commercial, but so is Andi's birthday. So what if they are only a day apart! Here's the story: We have been planning to get Andi one of those Kid Tough digital cameras for her birthday. They retail for about $55.00. The only problem is, every store in the country is sold out of them, along with the online stores. Well, yesterday it hit me! I'll try Ebay! So, I found some on ebay. In fact there was one seller that had 3 pink ones, 1 blue one, and 1 red one. Nobody had bid on them yet, and I thought: "Hey, the starting bid is $19.99, I could end up making out like a bandit! So, I bid, with Cameron's blessing, setting my maximum bid of $55 (seems about right to at least be WILLING to pay retail, even though I wouldn't have to...). I had no idea how naive I was. I was checking up periodically last night, and I remained the top bidder until at least 10:00 (12 hours from time of auction closing). When I woke up, after I got Andi dressed and ready for Joy School, I decided to check the progress. I was disheartened to find out that through the course of the night my bid had raised from $19.99 to $51. (So much for getting it below retail, I thought) I still had high hopes for getting it, because 15 minutes before auction closing I was still the high bid at $53. By this point, I had raised my max bid to $60 just to be on "the safe side". In the last 15 minutes, I watched that puppy jump from $60 to $93.00! That is what the winning bidder has to pay! I was thinking, You people are IDIOTS! You can wait until a week after Christmas, maybe 2, and get the same flippin' thing for $54.99! So, what I know for sure is that Andi will most likely not have that gift to unwrap on her birthday, but we will get her something cheap, and she'll have her party, and within a few weeks we'll take her to Walmart to get her "real" present. I hope you're proud of yourself jimmar6419! Shame on you for stockpiling toys, and then exploiting parents' love for their children! But ask me how I really feel about losing... What really makes me chuckle on the inside, is if the winning bidder would have just gotten on there last night they could have "bought it now" for $84.99! HA HA HA!!!

Sidenote: I just checked for these Camera's and the cheapest one is: $134.92! It's like the Tickle me Elmo, and the Cabbage Patch kids all over again!

Monday, December 11, 2006

It's so wrong

We should have done this a couple of months ago, but todaywe went and registered our van in Texas. It just seems so wrong for some reason. Our van is no longer the unique out of state van, it's just another van from Texas. Just another plain old gray minivan. If anyone is shopping for Christmas presents for me, I wouldn't mind a sports car of any kind.
Not only did they make me change plates on my car, they took my Nevada driver's license. Now I'm not going to get the "Hey, Nevada, cool" comments when I have to show someone my ID. I'm just another guy from Texas. Bummer.
Hey, I just inadvertently drew a parallel between me and my minivan. How sad is that? It's a good thing I'm not 40 or I'd probably end up going out and buying myself that sporty car and a Member's Only jacket and cranking up some REO speed wagon in the parking lot at work.
Oh, and as a welcome to Texas, they give you a $90 "Welcome to Texas" registration fee. Thanks for taking my money, Texas!

Trouble in paradise.

Last Sunday Cameron and I had our friends, the Crookstons, over to our house for dinner. We had a lovely time, and were enjoying some nice conversation down in the living room, when we heard Andi exclaim: "Come on Noah! It's time to get married." Well, we did what any parents of preschoolers would do... We yelled up the stairs: "No Kissing" and we started discussing prenuptual agreements and living arrangements. Unfortunately, Jared and Aubrey were not keen on the idea of taking Andi home with them, so they left with only the 2 1/2 kids they came with. The next week went pretty predictably. Andi, always the devoted and bossy wife, instructed Noah when his mom was there to pick them up from Joy School, and they argued about when and where the Christmas Party was. I guess that was the last straw for Noah. Today, we went to the Crookston's for dinner, and were informed that Noah told his parents that he and Andi weren't married anymore, but they were still friends. Andi confirmed the news to us a few moments later. So sad, the honeymoon had just begun, the name change wasn't even final, and it's over. I guess we'll see what happens at Joy School this week... Stay tuned for further installments of: "The Young and the Napless."


As Cameron previously mentioned, we took the kids Christmas shopping yesterday. Well, I thought I was being really sneaky, because after we parted ways to go pay for our individual treasures, I went in search of 2 very specific gifts I wanted to get Cameron. He had no idea of my plan, or my success really, until we got home. Not 30 minutes after getting home, Andi announces to Cameron that we got him a Superman movie at the store. I neither confirm or deny this, but my reaction to her saying it pretty much gave it away. I thought we had trained her to only say that she got "presents" or "surprises" for daddy and her brothers, until I came out of my room from working on a special project for Cameron, only to find out that she had spilled some of the beans on that one too. Who's gettin' nuttin' for Christmas? ANDI!!!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

The Kids and Santa

This is a video of our kids and the Crookston's kids seeing Santa at my company's Christmas party. It's not all that exciting, and it's like 6 minutes long, but hey, if you have 6 minutes to kill, here's something.

If the embedded video doesn't work, then this link will do, if that link doesn't work, then God Bless You.

You weren't supposed to see that

Saturday we braved the crowds at Wal~Mart to buy our kids toys for Christmas. They had just seen Santa the night before, and Andi told him that she wanted a doll house. We were planning on getting her one of those anyway, so score one for us. We had split up to do our shopping in hopes that Andi would not find out what we were getting, or see what we got for Dylan or Peyton's Santa gift and then figure something out on Christmas morning. I took the boys and Sam took the girl.
If you've ever been in the toy department at Wal-Mart, you'll notice that they're not really that big. So I passed by Sam every now and then. I got Andi's doll house and stuck it underneath the cart so she wouldn't notice.
The next time we passed Sam and Andi, Andi pointed at the box underneath my cart and said "Hey look, it's my dollhouse! Thanks Daddy!" D'oh! So much for keeping that a secret. I quickly came up with a story about how I was going to take the box to Santa so he could see exactly what it is that she wants. I'm glad she's only almost 4. If she were any older she would probably ask why she couldn't go see Santa too, or find one of the many holes in my story. I'm going to have to learn to lie better.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

We've Got Video

We have taken a step into the Twentieth Century and bought a camcorder. Now we can annoy people with stupid videos of our kids. Here are some now.

Here's a video we took the other night of Andi trying to help Peyton eat. Dylan's in there somewhere too.

Merry Christmas from Andi and her cousin Cari.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Week In Review

The 900-mile drive for Thanksgiving was pretty uneventful. We didn’t have time to stop by the National Corvette Museum or Graceland, but maybe next time. Next time may be when the kids are in their teens. We did get a chance to see some of Arkansas’s finest roadside trailer parks. (How does one person end up with 10 broken down washing machines in their yard?) We also found the town with a really bad name. Arkadelphia Arkansas. On their water tower they painted “Arkadelphia: A Great Place to Call Home.” You might as well just call it home if you live there, because just saying Arkadelphia makes you cringe a little.

Sam sent me to the get a book that she needed for Joy School on Wednesday night. I had to drive like 20 miles to get to a Barnes and Noble, which compared to Star Valley isn’t bad because there you have to drive 20 miles to get to a gas station. Anyway, I was going there to pick up “The Giving Tree”. I’m not a fan of the Barnes and Noble stores because it seems like a huge gathering place for yuppies. Starbucks and artsy fartsy books, it just screams yuppie to me. Anyway, I get to the register with “The Giving Tree” to check out. If you haven’t read that book, it’s not exactly a long literary masterpiece that is hundreds of pages long. It’s a children’s book about some tree that gives stuff away to a boy or something, I’m not sure, I didn’t make it all the way through yet. The guy rings the book up, and with taxes the thing came to $17. $17 for the giving tree? What the heck? I thought that The Giving Tree had better include a ten-dollar bill inside that the tree hands you. (It doesn’t by the way.) After the guy told me the total, he asked if I wanted to buy a book to donate to a children’s hospital in the area. Hello, you just sold me The Giving Tree for $17! I think you can take part of that $14 profit and donate it to the children’s hospital yourself, Paco! P.S. Bah Humbug to you sir.

On Thursday there was a winter storm that passed over the Dallas area. On Wednesday and Thursday all you saw on the news was stuff about this huge winter storm. They were predicting ice and then one to two inches of snow/sleet and temperatures in the 20s. Wow that sounds nasty. You know what they call that in Wyoming? August.

Peyton had a doctor appointment and got his immunizations on Friday. I wasn’t there with him because I was at my own doctor appointment getting some blood pressure medicine so my heart doesn’t explode when I’m 35. Somehow it was my fault that Peyton had to get shots.

I wouldn’t let Andi watch “her shows” until after NFL Matchup, a half hour long show, was over. Apparently I’m a bad father because of that.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

What's that smell?

To begin this story, I really have to start at the beginning of my day. I woke up this morning, dreading having to teach Joy School, especially since I hadn't even begun to prepare for the Kindergarten prep part yet. I got Andi and Dylan their breakfast, and was working on making their lunches, and had Peyton happily playing on the floor. He loves to pull diapers out of their original package, so that's what he was doing. All of a sudden, I hear him cry. Turns out, he had gotten ahold of the Desitin Creamy, and apparently didn't care for the taste. Now, this is a normal occurance at our house. I believe that every one of my kids has eaten a tube of diaper rash cream at one point or another, but as anyone would know, once your kids has eaten it, they seem to carry the scent with them until their next bath (which I wasn't prepared to give him yet, since he just had one) since it seems to get in crevices that you can't always find with a baby wipe. Anyway, so I was sitting on my bed nursing him, trying to get him to fall asleep (Oh yeah, due to inclement weather, Joy School was canceled, so I got to nurse without 4 extra preschoolers watching!). Well, I kept smelling something flowery, and almost disgustingly overwhelming. I kept thinking it was Peyton, and his Desitin, but when I put my nose closer to him, I stopped smelling this stink. I decided to go investigate after putting Peyton down for a nap. I found both kids upstairs, happily watching the Disney Channel, and not playing with anything out the ordinary. The smell kept getting stronger and softer every so often, but the whole house REAKED! I asked Andi was smelled, and she said: "Um, Dylan was playing with that blue thing." For the life of me, I couldn't place the smell. I looked under the sink and found all cleaning products present and accounted for. Finally I figured out where I smelled it before. The night Dylan vomited in our hallway, we bought some Febreze-like stuff to neutralize the odor. I went in the laundry room and found the bottle mostly empty, but there. I laughed to myself, and lectured Dylan about not touching things that aren't his, especially in the laundry room. I figured the smell would eventually dissipate, and life would go on. Well, shortly after I sat down and started writing this entry, I heard Andi screaming from the living room, and Dylan laughing. You guessed it... Dylan was chasing Andi around the room with the bottle of Odor Neutralizer, and laughing. I freaked out! I had just barely told him not to, and he did it again within 5 minutes! I had to strip his clothes off because he had the liquid all up the arms of his shirt, and he stunk to high heavens. I don't know what I'm going to do with that boy, but I can't wait 'til his father gets home! I guess I should be glad he didn't get ahold of something that suds up, or stains.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Well it's not the slickest looking, but the lights are up on our house. I may put some stuff on the right side of the house some day, but for now I'm calling it good.

Monday, November 20, 2006

At least she's honest...

I guess the best place to start is the beginning... Earlier today, I was upstairs with the kids. Andi and Dylan were fighting over whether to watch the Disney Channel or Cars, and since Andi is older, she won. Peyton was happily playing on the floor, only fussing when a toy he was playing with rolled just out of his reach. Andi responded to this by saying: "Mommy, Peyton is sad, I think he wants to sit in my Princess chair, here I will help him." I calmly explained to her (for about the four billionth time) that she is too little to "help" Peyton move anywhere. I told her not to try to move him, that only mommy or daddy could do that. She seemed to accept it, and she sat in the chair herself.
A short while later, I noticed it was time to make lunch. The kids had requested Mac and Cheese, so I opted to leave a happy Peyton upstairs, so I wouldn't have to worry about him around the stove. Before lunch was ready Dylan came downstairs to "help" me set the table, but all he was doing was pulling random utensils out of the silverware drawer. When lunch was ready, I called Andi down, and while waiting for her, I decided to sweep the "kitchen" part of the floor, since I don't do it as often as the "dining room" part. Andi came down, and I casually asked her what Peyton was doing. I expected a response such as: "He's pwaying on da fwoor", or "He's sweeping." But instead, she said very frankly: "He's sitting in my princess chair, and wearing my tinker bell hat." I asked her again, with the same response, so I did what any good mother would do. I grabbed the camera, and headed upstairs to see what I would find. Here is what I found when I reached the gameroom:

Yeah, so she didn't listen when I told her not to put Peyton in the least she's honest about it. I was also too busy laughing to discipline her. Sometimes being a mom is, well, interesting. I hope he survives into adulthood!

Is your house on fire, Clark?

Since everybody else is doing it, we decided to put our Christmas lights up on Saturday. We have never had a need for exterior lights before, so we had to buy some. (I swear I should just give all of my pay check that isn’t used on bills to Wal-Mart.) We picked out a set of lights that looked pretty slick and headed home.

I started putting our lights up on the roof that covers the porch. Luckily our neighbors had a ladder that they let us borrow. That was pretty helpful, since I’m not 9 feet tall. It turned out to be pretty easy. We found these hook things that you can stick under the shingles so you don’t have to staple the lights up. I don’t know if sticking things under your shingles is a bad idea or not, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt. If it messed it up, it’s nothing that a roll of duct tape wouldn’t fix. I got it all finished and took a step back to admire my work. Cool.

Since we have a two story house, just doing the porch roof wasn’t enough. I needed to do the roof of the house too. The ladder we had was 7 feet tall, and the roof is . . . really high, so I couldn’t exactly reach it on my tip toes. I had to get up on the porch roof. (Roof is a funny word. Roof. Ha ha.) This would have been no problem for me when I was younger. When I was a kid, I’d always climb up on our house to retrieve balls or whatever, and I’d just get off with no problem. I’m a little older than that now. I have acquired a fear of heights, death, paralyzation, impalement, broken limbs, sprained appendages, and boo boos. Eventually I got up the courage to get up on the roof.

Once I was up there, I realized it wasn’t so bad. That is after I got over the fear of the roof caving with me on it, tripping, and . . . pretty much anything. It was easier to put these lights up lights up because they were at eye level so I didn’t have to reach up to get the hooks in and then get the wire in the hooks. However, it took longer since I was using one hand to cling to anything I could get a hold of just in case the roof gave way. Maybe I’ve become too paranoid in my old age. Eventually I finished getting the lights on the roof. One problem was, I was still on the roof.

I would have just slept up on the roof, but Sam said something about hypothermia and rolling over and falling off the roof. I had to get down somehow. I considered my options, and eventually figured getting back on the ladder would be the best way to get down. Most people would have figured that out as common sense. I however do not have that sense, so I had to figure the ladder thing out by process of elimination. I took a look at scooting to the edge and jumping. Them I remembered that I’m old and I’d probably break something. So I pondered laying on my belly and sliding down slowly and just dropping down when I got far enough off the edge. (Yeah nothing could go wrong there.) I was really just being a pansy about the whole ladder thing because it was like two or three feet from the top of the roof. I eventually just got down on the ladder and made it safely to the ground.

I think I may have overcome my fear of heights. Getting on the roof doesn’t seem so bad now. That’ll be put to test before too long because we didn’t get enough lights, so I’ll need to put more on the roof.

I'll post some pictures when we're finished.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

In Flight Entertainment

Our plane ride home from Boise on Sunday was a little more exciting than Sam and I had hopes for. The kids got sick due to a food poisoning incident from the lunch we had before we left. Most people who ate chicken got sick, except for me, because I am indestructible like Wolverine. Ouch, I think I just got a paper cut. Dang that is going to hurt.

Before the kids started getting sick, they provided a little in flight entertainment for the people sitting around us. We were in the plane at Boise waiting to taxi to the runway. I had the pleasure of sitting next to our darling two oldest children. Of course they started fighting over something stupid for a few minutes. Andi was the instigator of the little skirmish, so I told her to knock it off. Did she listen to me? She’s almost 4, of course she didn’t. The fight continues, so I told her again to stop fighting with her brother. She kind of looked at me for a few seconds, and then kept on fighting.

I was pretty annoyed at this point because we hadn’t even taken off yet, and here the kids were already being obnoxious and noisy. So I pushed Andi away from Dylan (since she was sitting on his seat) and again told her to stop fighting.

To give you a little background on what happened next, Andi has been going to Joy School, which is a preschool that a group of moms get together and take turns teaching. They have rules to Joy School, which is probably a good idea because it’ll keep the kids from making shanks and starting riots and that sort of thing. I’m not exactly sure how it goes down, but the rules to Joy School are set to music, including the rules that “We never hit or kick or push” and the kids sing the rules when they’re at Joy School.

Since I had just pushed Andi, I had violated one of the Joy School rules. Apparently Andi thought my push counted as a hit, so she loudly said “Daddy! You hit me!” on the plane full of strangers. I quickly corrected her and said “I didn’t hit you. I lightly pushed you.” Her reply to that was “Daddy, we never push. Don’t ever push me” and then she started breaking out in the Joy School rules song “We never hit or kick or push, we never hit or kick or push ...” She kept singing that over and over again, mixed with “Daddy, don’t ever hit me, OK!”

Don't mess with the enforcer.

Other passengers were amused by my chastisement coming from the sweet little voice of my innocent daughter. I couldn’t help but laugh because she was being so animated (and loud) at explaining the rules that I had just broken. I guess it's not everyday you hear an almost four year old putting her father in his place. I sure learned my lesson. ♪We never hit or kick or push.♪

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Keeping up with the . . . those people

On our street, there are now two houses that have their Christmas lights put up. It's November 8th. Let us at least finsih off our Halloween candy before you start throwing that whole Christmas season stuff on us.

We're getting ready to go on a flight to Boise tomorrow for my brother-in-law's wedding. We leave DFW at 8:00, and get to San Fransisco(???) nearly 4 hours later. Why are we going through SF? I have no idea. It just seems cruel. 4 hours on a plane with my kids? Sometimes we are lucky to make it 4 hours in our house with the kids. And it's not like we have a really long layover so we can catch our breath, no no. Our connecting flight leaves for Boise 50 minutes after we're supposed to land. IS there any chance we'll miss our connection? No way, flights never get delayed. At least when we get there we're just going to be able to relax and enjoy ourselves. Oh wait, we're going to a wedding. No we won't.

"Lost" is starting to tick me off. The "Fall Season Finale" was on tonight. I've never heard of a fall season finale before. If you haven't heard about it before, let me tell you what it is. Your show is not going to have any more new episodes until February. That's right, "Lost" left us with a freakin cliff hanger that is going to last until February. Whoever had this idea should have to sit next to our kids on the 4 hour long plane ride. At least when they come back in February they'll air 16 new episodes in a row. It still irritates me. If they're going to do that, why don't they wait to air everything until January, like they do with "24". Do I care too much about a TV show? Possibly.

Hey, I need to go to sleep. Why? Because my 4 hour long plane ride with my kids leaves at 8:00 A.M. and we need to leave here like at 2:00 A.M. to be able to get through security in time to get on our plane. Brandon should have eloped. I would have sent him a $20 gift certificate to Taco Bell. You missed out on that one, pal.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Missing my baby

Cameron has been telling me for a couple weeks now that it's "high time that boy had his own room", in reference to Peyton. You see, since we moved into our house, Peyton's crib has been set up in our bedroom to avoid the need for Cameron to go trapesing up the stairs at 2 in the morning. So, yesterday he put action behind his threats. Well, I didn't think I would be so emotional about my baby moving all the way upstairs, but it has been really hard for me. I look at the empty space where his crib was, and it makes me feel a little guilty. To make matters worse, last night we had a major thunderstorm. You know, the kind that makes your walls shake when it thunders? So, instead of Cameron being sensitive and understanding, he does the exact opposite. He laughs at me for sighing at the baby monitor, and makes comments like "Poor baby, all alone upstairs in the dark room. He probably doesn't know where he is." Yeah, that helps. Well, we all survived last night, and Peyton seems surprisingly unscathed, but I must admit that I have half a mind to stick Cameron in the crib, and bring Peyton to sleep with me! That'll teach him!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

A little help from the siblings

Today, since Peyton has gotten really good at sitting by himself, I decided to leave him upstairs to play with toys while I went to help Cameron re-setup the crib (that's a whole other story). I came back out of the baby's room to check on some crying, and I find Peyton standing, holding onto the couch, and looking terrified. Andi was sitting close by, so I inquired what had happened. She proudly told me that she had picked him up, and that he liked it. Sometimes I wonder how much he likes the things that she says he does. For another example, Cameron and I were making dinner this evening, and I hear an ear peircing scream come from Peyton. I go to investigate, and find Dylan standing over him with a water bottle. Peyton was completely soaked from the top of his head to his waist. I guess the baby was thirsty.
Cameron tried to think a few steps ahead, and told Andi that Peyton is too little to go down the stairs, to prevent her trying anything. I fear he may have just given her ideas. I guess it's about time to baby proof the stairs! How my little sister (#3 in the family) lived to be a teenager, I'll never know. At this rate, Peyton will be lucky to see age 3.

Our little guy is growing

Peyton seems to be getting bigger every day. All of the sudden, he's sitting up. He now has two teeth, and he's eating rice cereal. So tonight, we thought it would be a good opportunity to get the camera and take some embarrassing pictures of him eating and getting messy. Before too long Sam will be saying "we don't have a baby any more" to which I will reply "No we don't!"

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Bathroom Makeover

Over the weekend, Cameron and I re decorated our upstairs bathroom. We decided to go with a duckie theme, since it is the bathroom our kids use. It turned out pretty well, if we do say so ourselves, but you can be the judge. Here are some before and after pictures for your viewing pleasure. I must say, we are looking forward to doing a non bathroom for our next project. We originally planned to do tile on the bottom part, then realized how involved that was, and opted to go with just paint instead. So, without further adieu:

Friday, October 27, 2006

Trunk or Treat

Our ward did the trunk or treat party tonight. It was pretty good. The kids are ready to eat all of their candy already. Here are some pictures of the kids.

It's hard trying to get three kids to look at the camera at the same time.

Andi was Sleeping Beauty, again.

Dylan was quite the dashing knight in shining armor.

Peyton borrowed Andi's Eeyore costume. That's right, Eeyore, not a bunny or a dog.

This is a picture from three years ago when Andi was Eeyore for Halloween. Our kids look a bit too much alike.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Driving in Big D

Let me just say that driving in Dallas during the morning and afternoon commute is not something that I would want to do everyday. There are way too many people trying to get to the same place, and it always seems like someone is running into someone else.

I'm guessing some of the driving problems are because driving terms that mean one thing in the part of the country I grew up, mean something totally different here. Like merging. Where I grew up if a sign says merge, I would move into the other lane of traffic because my lane was ending. Here it must mean to speed up and get as far as you can before you slam on your brakes and swerve into the adjacent lane of traffic. That can be confusing, but I'll catch on.

Welcome to crazy town!
This has nothing to do with anything.
I just liked the theme when I was a kid

It seems like weird things happen on these highways too. Like this morning, I was listening to the traffic report, and when I had left the house it said that there was a disabled vehicle that was taking up the right hand lane on I-30. About 40 minutes later, after I had passed the disabled vehicle, the guy on the radio said that now there was a fire truck partially blocking the right hand lane too, because the disabled vehice had caught on fire. Man, I missed it.

If you think it's safer to drive off of the highway and on the streets, think again my friend. I tried that one Monday afternoon, and I'll never do it again. I was trying to find a gas station, and I ended up driving through what I can only describe as the ghetto area of Dallas. Instead of gas stations on every corner, there were liqour stores. I was picturing my story on the news: "An unidentified white male was found on the side of the road, clutching to a map of the Dallas area." It probably wasn't that bad, but it seemed like it. It's not like I'm just a racist or anything. When I was at a stop light by a scary looking white dude with a
"Will Work 4 Food" sign, I locked my doors then too.

I'm glad that I work in Greenville instead of Dallas.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Why Baseball is Boring

Game 3 of the World Series just ended, with the Cardinals winning decisively. As I was watching this game, I realized that baseball is quite a boring sport. Granted it's not as bad as wathcing golf or bowling, but it's usually nothing really exciting. There are great games and great moments in baseball, but how often do they occur? Most baseball games are just a boring waste of three hours that you can't walk away from, just in case something happens.

One thing I noticed while watching the game, is that the ending of a sure victory can be quite tedious. In football and basketball, there is a finite amount of time that the game will last if it is a blowout. But in baseball, who knows. TOnight's game had St. Louis ahead 5 - 0 in the bottom of the ninth. With two outs left and the last batter having two strikes, the fans in the crowd were on their feet and waving their towels awaiting the end of the game. The pitcher winds up, throw the pitch . . . and it's fouled back. Excitement dies down a little until the pitcher winds up again. Again the crowd is cheering, again the batter fouls the pitch. The pitcher again sets up to pitch, the crowd again on its feets, and . . . fouled off. Finally the guy grounded out, but by that time I was trying to figure out who was on Letterman.

Home runs are exciting. Except those may just end up being foul balls too. All home runs are just byproducts of the rampant steroid use anyway, so it's not as cool for some reason.

When people argue for days about whether a player in your sport did or did not have pine tar on his hand instead of talking about the actual game, something may be wrong.

Baseball will never be a real sport until they get rid of the DH in the American League. Make the pitchers try to bat, and make the fat guys who can only hit try to play in the field. It would be more entertaining. Speaking of fat guys . . .

Watching a guy who looks like a High School gym coach from Alabama play a game while he scratches his crotch is not cool.

I'm not saying baseball is bad. It's just that to a casual fan, it can be less than entertaining. Three hours worth of "There's a swing, and it's foul" really isn't worth watching for that one play that everybody talks about the next. You can see on SportsCenter in a nice compacy 3 minute segment. Of course you could probably say the same sort of thing about football, but then you would be mistaken.

You Must Complete the Training

I've been going to a training class in Dallas this week. Most people look at these training classes as a place to learn some new things and gain experience in something. Not me. I look at it as free pop for a week! Woo hoo!

Monday was kind of a bad day because they only had Diet Coke in the machine. Diet Coke? Who drinks that? So on MOnday I drank their free Diet Coke, but I didn't have to like it. And the donuts they have aren't Krispy Kreme donuts. Honestly, how do they expect people to learn if their free donuts aren't Krispy Kreme donuts. I'm appauled.

Tuesday was better because they filled the machine so there was more of a choice than just Diet Coke. I think I drank like 6 cans of pop on Tuesday. I may have a kidney stone coming Wednesday or Thursday. I don't care, I'm drinking their free Coke and Dr. Pepper. Have you ever drank so much pop that the back of your throat feels like it's coated with syrup? No. Yeah, I haven't either.

Wednesday they said that they have pizza for the students. It had better be good free pizza or else I will . . . just eat it anyway.

This just in: baseball is kind of boring. The World Series is on, and it's just not that interesting. But I'm still making my wife watch it, just so she knows who's in charge around here. I mean, I love you honey.

Our kids didn't do anything cute today.

Hey, the 49ers didn't lose this weekend. I think it's because I didn't shave. So, I'm not going to shave for the rest of the football season, then maybe they'll win some more games. They may have also not lost this weekend because they didn't play. Maybe I won't grow a beard, maybe I'll just stop shaving my neck.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Thoughts From Painting a Fence

Saturday afternoon, I found myself outside painting the fence. While I Was painting the fence, I had some time to myself to think of anything I wanted to without being interrupted by screaming children. While some people would use that time to ponder the meaning of life, I've already got that figured out. So, I thought of a lot of not so important things, such as:

I should enter a karate tournament. I would totally win.

I can't believe that Sam hasn't seen The Karate Kid. Seriously, she grew up in the 80's in the United States, and had never seen that movie? What the heck? (Mr. Miagi had Danielson wax on, wax off AND paint the fence and the house and some other stuff.)

I'm not really a fan of songs where the singers end up talking through part of the song. What, were they not able to figure out how to put those words to music? What's the point of the talking during the song?

I saw this Weird Al music video this morning. Donny Osmond is so cool.

I should have been cast in that video.

If I could go back in time, I would totally beat my younger self up. I did a lot of stupid stuff as a teenager, including singing along to the part of songs where the people were just speaking. Man, I was such a dork. Of course the younger me would want to beat me up because I married someone who hasn't seen The Karate Kid and my sons aren't named Joe, Steve, or Jerry. If I could put those differences aside for a minute though, I could totally put down some sweet bets and make a lot of money like Biff from Back to the Future.

How am I going to win a karate tournament when my hand is cramped into a mangled claw from all this painting?

I painted for an hour and made it ten feet? What the heck?

I should grow my hair out like Garth from Wayne's World.

Maybe I should find a hobby that doesn't involve watching TV and movies.


Why am I getting cold. I'm in Texas. It's not supposed to get cold in Texas, right?

I worked on my car when it was 20 degrees below zero back in Wyoming, and I'm complaning about being cold here?

I'm too old to be out in the cold. I'll catch pnemonia. I'm going inside.

When I get to be such a pansy?

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Scoring Points With the Boss Man

One of the team leads in my group sent me this Employee to Employee award this morning. I finished up my first stand alone project yesterday, and he gave me some positive feedback for it. When you get one of these, you're entered into a drawing that could win a $25 gift card. Woo hoo! I wonder if it would work to give myself one . . .

I know this isn't very exciting to anyone else, but it's something that was different in my usual mundane day at "work". (I added the quotes for Sam's amusement since she was teaching Joy School again today.)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Those who can't do...

TEACH! That's right, today was my first day teaching Joy School, and right off I have a few mysteries I intend to solve. 1) Why do kids only like cheap jellybeans? You give them a Jelly Belly jellybean, and they will spit it out on your driveway. Thanks by the way for that one kid! (just for reference, it wasn't Noah) 2) Why does nobody in the room want a nap, except the adult? I would LOVE a nap, but the people who can take one can't even be bribed into it. And finally 3) Why do the kids seem to multiply when you are at your most frazzled? I had moments where I couldn't even remember how many there were supposed to be, and counting past 3 (my usual number to have at home) was way beyond my capabilities. To sum up, my first day was... interesting, but seemingly successful, and it makes me happy for when this week is over, and I don't have to teach again for a month. Just like I've heard: "Joy School is great... when it's not your week."

Friday, October 13, 2006

He Had It Coming

I got home today from work, and Sam seemed to be a little bit frazzled from her day. This has been a regular occurrence this week, so I was half expecting it. However, I wasn't expecting a certain punishment that Sam ended up giving to the kids.

For some background, it turns out that whenever Dylan got yelled at, or sternly spoken to, or even looked at today he would run into his room, slam the door and start kicking it relentlessly until he decided to come outside and yell at his mother. This happening once or twice may be understandable, but it went on all day. To retaliate, Sam did something that I hadn’t thought of before.

“I took their door.” This took me a bit by surprise. “Took their door?” “Yep, I took their door.” There was no need for further explanation, she took their door. How does one take a door from their child? By unscrewing the hinges from the doorframe and sticking the door in a closet, of course. It took me a minute to process this, but yes, the kids have lost their door until further notice.

I think Sam needs a vacation without the children.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Male Bonding

Last night we let Andi sleep in our room because she wasn't feeling well. Before dinner she threw up, so we knew she wasn't just making stuff up. She slept on the floor close to the bathroom so she could run in if she needed. I'm glad she's learned to go to the toilet when she's going to do that. It's really helpful.

At about 4:00, Dylan started crying and coming out of his room. He usually does this, so I went through the routine of putting him back in bed. I decided to lay down in bed next to him because I thought he might be lonely without Andi in the room.

When I got in his bed, I noticed that there was a wet spot on his sheet next to his pillow. He took a sippy cup of water to bed, so I figured it spilled some. After laying in his bed for a minute or so, I started picking up a foul odor with my super sniffer. (Actually, it's more of a below average sniffer.) So, I asked Dylan what he brought to his bed to make it smell. I turned on the light, and right where I was laying was a puddle of Dylan's dinner. Well, that's just great.

So here it was 4:00 in the morning, and I stripped Dylan's bed of its sheets. After all the comotion, he didn't want to go back to sleep. Peyton decided to join us at about 4:30. We stayed up and watched cartoons, X-Men 3 (which is a pretty cool show), and Sports Center. It was good fun all around. We decided to get matching tattoos and go hunting next weekend so we can hang a big moose head above the fireplace. However, due to the early morning bonding, all the Carter boys are pretty tired right now.

Next time Dylan wants some manly bonding time with his pop, I hope he just asks for it.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Trend in Picture Taking

I was flipping through the pictures that we have on our computer, and I noticed something (besides the fact that I have a lot of embarrassing pictures of Dylan). When Andi was a young baby, we took quite a few pictures of her. If she had the gas smile, we took a picture, if she was wearing an outfit that she hadn't worn before, we took a picture, if she spit up or pooped, we took a picture. Well, maybe not the last one. But for the first year of her life, Andi had like 4,000 pictures taken of her. I was looking for pictures of Peyton, and guess how many I found. 11. Yeah, there seems to be a slight difference in the number of pictures taken between our first child and third child.

Why is that? I don't know. It's not like I don't have the same camera as I did when Andi was a baby. It's not like we don't love Peyton as much. I think it's because the novelty of having a new baby kind of got worn off. It's hard to notice every little change in a kid when you have a 3 year old singing "Yellow Submarine" to you. Our kids all look the same anyway, so we could pass a baby picture of Andi off as Peyton if we needed to.

So, I think I'll set a goal to take more pictures of Peyton. Will I acheive it? Well, let's just say that my New Years Resolution was to lose weight. I would start working on the picture goal right now, but the kid is asleep, and I don't think his mother would be too happy if I woke him up.

Here's Peyton playing with a blue cup.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

My Pretty Girls

I'm so disappointed.

Andi was playing dress up Saturday morning. I guess she decided that Dylan would be a pretty princess. I would have been quicker to get him out of the dress, but I decided to take a picture of it to have for blackmail later on. Hehehe.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Good and Bad

During our moving process, we've dealt with a lot of people from a lot of different companies for different reasons. Some experiences were good, others you can say were below satisfactory. Here's a list of things good and bad from the past few weeks.

Good - Dish Network
We got hooked up yesterday with Dish. We have a Tivo. Life is good. How did we ever live without Tivo? (And I'm saying this less than 24 hours after we have it hooked up.)

Bad - Dish Network's Installation Guy
He wanted us to pay him 10 bucks under the table for hooking up our living room, and it probably took him 2 minutes to do. We didn't even want our living room hooked up. He kept saying "Don't forget, you owe me ten bucks.", and when it was time for him to go, he said "You owe me 10 bucks." It was a bit confusing since we just made him a check for $49.99. When we only had $2 in cash and offered to write him a check he said "No, 2 bucks is better than a check." Should I be concerned that this guy knows where I live? He's going to start following me around yelling "I want my eight dollars!"

Good - The Orkin Man
I didn't know how much we needed the Orkin man. He sprayed for bugs Wednesday morning. By Wednesday evening there was a 3 foot pile of dead ants by my back door. Plus I found out that dog that was annoying us when we were moving in was actually a large spider.

Bad - AT&T
Give me my DSL hookup before someone gets hurt! Also bad is that When you call these people you end up getting transferred four times and none of the people know what the previous person told you or what you're calling for. Plus without the internet, it's not like I can find my way around here with Google Maps. I think we ended up in Arkansas one day while we were looking for a Sears.

Good - Moving into a house
It's pretty cool to look at your sink and think "Hey, that's MY sink."

Bad - Paying for the house
I'll be how old when that sucker is paid off?

Good - Helpful neighbors
The next door neighbors watched our kids for a couple of hours while we unpacked some stuff. Also, the Crookstons drove clear to the DFW airport in the middle of the night, even risking their lives by driving through the crime infested streets of Dallas (the news is scary hear) to help me drop our rental car off. You guys are too cool. I swear I'll get that wagon back to you before you move.

Bad - Having to talk to our truck driver while our stuff was unpacked
Let's say our driver's name was Al. Al liked to talk. A lot. Some of Al's favorite topics included how to handle the war in the Middle East (kill everybody, whether by nuke or by ground forces). Overthrowing the government (Al says he was a history major, and that's what they did back in the day, or something). The menace of a dog was just having a good time (I still wanted to make it disappear). Wyoming is full of oil (Huh?). We have enough oil in the US to supply us for 50 years (Al's a history buff and a geologist). I don't know what else he talked about because I poked out my ear drums after an hour or so.

Monday, September 25, 2006


We are now in our house. It is a complete disaster area at the moment. Since the movers packed us up, we really don't know where anything is. Plus they marked the boxes weird, so you never know what is going to be in it. They marked one kitchen box "Pot and Pans". There was like one cookie sheet in it, and the rest of the box was spices and cups. Eventually we'll get it all unpacked, and then I can listen to the "Radeo" on my "Stario".

When the guys were unloading the truck, there was a neighborhood dog that came to our house and decided to hang out. It wasn't so bad except it kept getting in the way, went into the house a couple of times, and terrorized the children. Yeah, the kids weren't too thrilled to have a big dog hanging around our front yard. Andi is crazy scared of dogs, and as of Saturday morning so is Dylan. The worst thing about the dog is it wanted to play with Dylan's stuffed lion. The same lion that Dylan carries with him everywhere and doesn't like to go to sleep without. Stupid dog.

So, some day we'll be hooked up with DSL in our house, and I'll be able to put pictures up. Until then, it's all text, baby.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Quick Update

We made it to Texas and we are alive and kicking. The kids are driving Sam crazy in our temporary apartment, but it's all good because tomorrow we're going to close on our house. We're doing a final walk through on the house in the morning, and then at noon we're going in to sign the papers on it, and it'll be ours (after 30 years of payments). We're excited to finally get into it. Hopefully they will have the blinds installed by the time we move in. If not, we may have to devise a temporary curtain to go over the bathroom windows. I'm sure the neighbor would appreciate it.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

That's a Liquid?

Monday, the moving guys showed up to pack and load up our stuff. They did do a pertty good job. However, I was a bit confused by some of the things that they put in the liquids box. (They couldn't take any open liquid containers.) Here is a list of some things that ended up in that box:

A yellow ceramic duck.
Razor cartridges.
A pregnancy test. (It's positive by the way)
An electric razor.
Feminine hygenie products.
Cotton balls. (Just kidding about the pregnancy test being positive.)

What, are the moving guys from Oregon or something? I guess when our kids are going to school and learning about solid, liquids, and gases, we can let them know that the yellow duck is a liquid.

Sunday, September 10, 2006 Pictures

A while ago, a coworker of mine showed me It's a place where you can upload pictures from your computer and order prints. Turns out, other people can go there and see the pictures and order prints too. So, I figure this will be a quick way to let people see pictures of my obnoxious children. So, here's a link to it. You have to sign up on the website to be able to get to them, just so you know. I'll also stick this link on the right side of the page so you can get to it later on.

Click here. If it doesn't work, let me know, and I'll . . . I don't know.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Family Pictures

Yesterday we got some family pictures taken in Reno. It was good fun. Peyton was being really cute. Andi and Dylan were acting like they were 2 and 3 years old. We got a good family picture and some of Dylan and Peyton. We tried to get one of the three kids together, but they weren't cooperating, so none of them turned out. D'oh! Here is what we ended up with. If you want to order some prints, I can let you know how to do that.


The last couple of days we have spent cleaning our apartment. Here are some things I've noticed while cleaning the apartment:

If sun block spills on your table and it's not cleaned right away, it somehow eats the varnish off the table. Oops.

It's not fun to clean 2 1/2 years worth of dirt off of white walls.

My kids write on the walls way too much.

It's probably a good idea to wash your hands before you eat lunch.

Where did the kids get all these toys from?

The air filter for the ventilation system may need to be changed more often than once every year and a half.

How old was that pineapple in the fridge? It had turned pink. Woah.

I still might need those old college text books one day.

Amonia + Bleach = Oops

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Today Should Be a Holiday

He's no Steve Young.
Alex Smith makes me miss Steve Young

Why should today be a holiday? Because tonight the Steelers and Dolphins play in the first regular season game. Football is back, baby! And right now, the 49ers are undefeated! Woo hoo!

I'm thinking this season will be better than last season was. Not for my team, for me. Here in Nevada, we're in the Bay Area broadcasting region. The network games we got were the games that featured the Raiders and the 49ers. Sure that's great, I had a chance to watch all of my team's games last year. But my team went 4-12 last year, and it wasn't pretty. How many times can you watch the guys you're cheering for totally screw up before you lose your mind. (About 10). And it's not like I could change to the channel to a better game, because the Raiders were always on the other channel, and the Raiders ended up 4-12 too. Not good watching. It was either the Silver and Black nightmare or the Red and Gold train wreck. Since we're moving to Texas after week 1, we should be able to see some better games this season. When I say we I actually mean I, because I don't think Sam is as excited about watching football as I am.

One important note: The kids and I were in the car yesterday and we passed a Junior High school where the football team was practicing. Dylan shouted out "Touchdown!!!" That's my boy!!!

As far as the 49ers chances of winning this year. I think they have a good chance of getting the first pick in the draft next year.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

A State I Dislike

Over Labor Day Weekend, we had the chance to drive to Northern Idaho to spend some time with Sam’s mom and sister. The drive up there was rather long, 780 miles long (which is nothing compared to driving anywhere from Texas). It took us 12 hours to drive there. Unfortunately, about 350 of those miles were in what I think is the worst state in the nation. That State is Oregon.

Oregon really just ticked me off. 330 of those miles were nothing but straight flat road. It wouldn’t have been so bad, if the speed limit in Oregon wasn’t 10-15 mph lower than its surrounding states. On a road in Nevada that had a limit of 70 mph, in Oregon for some reason it’s down to 55. Most people don’t even come close to obeying that speed limit (because most people aren’t 90 years old). But it’s low enough to keep you going slower than normal, just in case a cop is around the corner.

They try to make it up to you by putting signs up calling you a pet name like “Dear”, except they misspelled it “Deer”. How dumb are these people?

Plus, they don’t even let you pump your own gas at the gas stations. I pulled up to one, and this guy who looked like Hurley from “Lost” raced me to the pump and asked me for my card. Hey man, I realize that most people in Oregon probably can’t figure out the complex piece of equipment that is a gas pump, but I think I can handle it. I gave the card to him because I may have looked like a pork chop to him and I didn’t want him to eat me. You never know what the Oregonians (is that right?) are thinking.

Maybe I’m a little bitter for having to drive through so much of Oregon, yeah that’s probably right, but I just don’t like Oregon. We should give that state away to Canada. Would you miss Oregon? I wouldn’t.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Worst Diaper Ever

This is a little story about a bad diaper Dylan had. You don't have to read if you don't want to.

Over the weekend, Dylan wasn't feeling very well. He kind of had a case of diarrhea. Pretty bad. We had to change his diaper a ton of times on Friday, and by the end he was in so much pain he was turning himself upside down while we were wiping him. He wasn't doing so well.

Saturday morning, I got a really rude awakening. Dylan smelled some kind of bad, and his pajamas looked like he had spilled something on himself. So, I go to unzip his pajamas to change him, and WOAH!!!! He had a movement during the morning, and he was sleeping on his belly. Somehow, the poo barely touched his diaper and spread upward, up his chest clear up to his armpits. The poor guy was just covered in poo.

I tried to do my best to breathe through my mouth and avoid smelling this. (It was some kind of bad.) I tried wiping him down with baby wipes, but after five had barely made a dent in the situation, I threw him in the tub. I washed him up really good. Andi kept saying that she wanted to get into the tub too, but I kept telling her that she certainly did not.

Oh, he also threw up on me Sunday morning. I think he's doing better though.

Why do I mention this? Because I want to share my joy with others. This should also be a great pro-birth control example for my brother-in-law who is getting married in November.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Quick Quote

We got home from the store this afternoon, and Andi turned on the TV. The channel that it was on was showing Dirty Dancing. Andi said "Look mom, Dirty Dancing!" Ok, so maybe she's a little bit of a couch potato. My bad.

After the show was over and she was sitting in the couch, she said "I need to go pee. Dirty Dancing makes me pee." I'm not exactly sure how Dirty Dancing makes her pee, but I wasn't going to argue with her.

A Rude Awakening

This is the kind of thing that happens after you let your parents watch your kids . . .

While Sam and I were on our trip, my Aunt bought our two obnoxious children these obnoxious rubber chickens. When you squeeze the chicken, it makes this irritating squeaking noise. I didn't think much of it until this morning. Andi came in around 6:45 and tried to wake me up. After a while of me telling her to leave me alone and let me sleep, she and Dylan went downstairs. I thought "Hey, cool deal. They're actually letting me sleep." I should have known then that something bad was going to happen.

Probably five minutes after the kids left our room, I started hearing the rubber chickens squeaking. And it kept getting louder, and more frequent. It's like Dylan and Andi were having a competition to see who could make the most noise with their rubber chicken from Hades. They made it all the way up the stairs and into Peyton's room, squeezing the chickens in a hideous chorus of evil squawking all the way. I had to hurry to get up and out of bed to save the baby because he wasn't very happy about being woken up by the shrieking of the devil bird.

Thanks a lot, Myrna, for the rubber chickens. I think they may mysteriously disappear in the move.

Monday, August 28, 2006

House Hunting

Well, our house hunting trip went a little different than we originally planned. We had planned on meeting with a developer to get a house built and rent an apartment for 6 months while it was being built. But, there were a lot of spec homes available that cost less than building your own, so we went that route. We found a house that is pretty much exactly what we were looking for. It's really cool. We're going to like it a lot better than a smelly old apartment. Here are a few pictures we took of the house.