Sunday, January 28, 2007


It's been 4 months since we moved to Texas, and until now we hadn't had to do anything at church besides watch our children. That's all gonna change now. Last week they gave us something to do. Sam is going to teach kids 5-6 years old, and I get to teach Sunday school to teenagers. I'm not sure what age it is or anything, but it's teenagers.

Teaching Sunday school to anyone is bad enough. But having to teach it to teenagers seems like it's going to stink. Why? Because I was a teenager not too long ago, and I know what teenagers are like. You have the super annoying ones that disrupt everything. Then you have the ones that don't listen, and if you ask them a question you get the blank stare and the "What?" (that was me). If you do happen to get a gospel related answer out of any of them, it's usually just the "go to church, read the scriptures, and say your prayers" variety.

A few more things that disturb me about teenagers are they smell because they haven't figured out the correct amount of deoderant to put on, they think they know everything so they assume everyone else is retarded, they vandalize stuff (keep your spray paint away from my stuff you teenage nimcumpoops!!!), and the pimples everywhere. Oh my.

I'll give this whole teaching teenagers the old college try. If things don't go so well, I gues I'll need to buy a sling shot or a Red Rider BB Gun and bring it to church. That's not frowned upon is it?

Friday, January 26, 2007


Two of our kids have reached a milestone this week. Peyton no longer has just two teeth. Three more teeth started poking through his gums this week. I bet him mom is glad that he only has about 3 months left of breast feeding.

Andi hit a new milestone of sorts yesterday. I don't know if you can call it a milestone since it's not something you look forward to happening. Last night Andi said "I hate you, dad."

Last night we went to the Crookston's for Tess's birthday. We had to leave, and of coure Andi didn't want to because her good buddy Noah is there. She was screaming the whole time when we left, was screaming all two minutes it took to get home, and was screaming when we got home. I was tired of the screaming, so I told her I was going to put her in bed without a bath or storytime because she was being naughty. That's when she let me have it. I guess I had it coming because I make her life so hard and all. The other day, I didn't give her yogurt for breakfast. Right there I was asking for trouble.

I'm sure it's not the last time it will happen, but it threw me off guard. Next time I'll be sure to ask if I'm ruining her life and if she wants to go live with Grandma. Grandma would take her.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Put It Back

Last week I ended up having to go to the dentist because I lost a filling. I spent an obscene amount of time in the dentist's office (sorry, Jared), and I ended up needing to get a crown put on my tooth. They cast a mold for the crown (The paste they use for that is totally disgusting, and you have to keep it in your mouth for at least six minutes. That should be one of those events on Fear Factor) and sent me on my way with a temporary crown to last me the two weeks it takes to make the crown. They said to call in if it fell off. It's nice to know they have such confidence in their work.

Well today it fell off. I called the dentist office at about 6:00, and the office was closed. However, I did get a hold of the dentist. He asked if the tooth was bothering me, and if it wasn't I could just stick the crown back on with toothpaste. I assumed he meant toothpaste like Crest, and not some sort of tooth paste like Elmer's.

I must say that filling a temporary crown with mint flavored toothpaste and then placing it on an exposed, sensitive tooth doesn't exactly feel good. But I did it, and I'd rather keep doing it now and then for another week than go in to the office and wait for two or three hours for them to get around to sticking it back on.

The bill for my appointment was over $300. It didn't include the dentist handing me five fifty dollar bills. What a rip off.

Friday, January 19, 2007


Today I ended up staying home from work to help Sam watch our kids in addition to the two oldest Crookston kids. She can handle 3 on 1 pretty well, but 5 on 1 is something else when all the kids are under 5. I thought it was funny that their ages were 4 (Andi), 3 (Noah), 2 (Dylan), 1 (Tess), and 0 (Peyton). I called into work this morning and left a message for my boss to let him know that I wasn't going in.

Jared picked his kids up for lunch and a nap, so we were left with just our kids for the afternoon. After we had lunch, we sent our kids upstairs to watch a movie or play with toys or light things on fire, whatever it is they do while we watched some TV by ourselves.

Since we have satellite TV, when someone calls our home phone the caller ID shows up on the TV screen. A number popped up on the screen, and it was from work, and I recognized it as my boss's number. So, I get up to search for the phone. It took me a while to remember where it was, and that it had been left upstairs. Where the kids were. One of those kids likes to answer the phone. I reached the top of the stairs, asked "Where's the phone?", and saw that Andi had decided to answer it.

Luckily my boss is a cool guy and has a boy about Andi's age, so he got a laugh out of it. I'm just glad that when I was explaining to Andi about having a boss the other day, I didn't say anything like "My boss is a poo." That could have been bad.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Baby News

Our friends Jared and Aubrey had their baby boy Tate today at 4:00 PM. Here's a link to a little video of him and here are some pictures of him. He's a pretty cute kid. Since he's so tiny and cute, I'm afraid Sam might start to get some ideas.

We just found out that Sam's sister Megan is pregnant and due in August. Her other sister Brooks just had a baby boy in December. I figure that's enough kids to go around, so we don't really need to contribute. I am disappointed in most people who voted in our little poll. You're not helping, guys. Our other kids are all spaced out 20 months apart, and if we follow that trend the next one would be born in December of this year. That would make it 4 kids 5 years old and under. Yikes.


Like I said in my previous post, the kids and I went over to the Crookston's last night while the men cleaned the temple. Cameron packed the diaper bag, so I didn't know we didn't have baby food for Peyton, until we were sitting down to eat. Luckily, Aubrey had a jar of Gerber's "Banana Apple Strawberry" and was happy to share. Peyton downed the whole jar, and then ate some of my english muffin from my mini pizza. He loved it, but his immune system did not! I was changing his diaper, and putting him in pajamas when I noticed a rash. Not just a simple diaper rash, or heat rash, but HIVES! Hundreds of mesquito bite looking things all over my poor baby's chest and belly! I asked Aubrey if she knew where this might have come from. I think the answer hit us at the same time: THE STRAWBERRIES! It was the only ingredient in the baby food that he had never had before. I got him in his pj's while Aubrey found the Benadryl. Funny thing (if you can call it funny) is that Peyton (currently 9 months old...almost) was clawing at the zipper of his jammies, like he couldn't stand the itching. We changed him into a T-Shirt, and rubbed some corizone cream on his chest. He seemed to get better, but since the hives had started appearing on his face, we called the after hours nurse at our Pediatrician's office. Luckily, no trip to the emergency room was necessary, but I was strictly instructed to never give him strawberries again, unless directed to do so by the pediatrician. So there ya go, Peyton is allergic to strawberries, a shame really, they're really good eatin'.

On again, off again...on again?

Last night Cameron and Jared Crookston had volunteered to help clean the temple, so around 3 in the afternoon, Cameron dropped the kids and I over at the Crookston's house, because I was in no state of mind to deal with my children alone until probably close to 10 at night. Aubrey offered to have us over so we could share in the pain. While dinner was in the oven, Andi and Dylan were playing in one of the bedrooms, and Noah was helping get dinner ready by setting up the little yellow kid's table. Not really sure where Tess was... Anyway, Noah sat down at the yellow table, and was soon joined by Tess. This bothered Noah. He said: "I don't want to sit by Tess, I don't like her." I tried to tell him that he should always like his sister, but he persisted that he did NOT like his sister, and that he wanted to sit with "Handy" (his way of saying Andi). I thought it was cute, after all, their romance has been a bit rocky since the divorce, so it was nice to see them getting along. Then, Noah exclaims: "I like Handy! She's my favorite girl...She's my favorite girl in the WHOLE WORLD!" I think he may have also said that she was his best friend, but I can't exactly remember. They got along fine all evening, but today is Joy School, plus since Aubrey is currently in labor, they will spend more time together than they usually do even, so they could be "off again" by the time Tate comes home. Stay tuned...

Monday, January 15, 2007


So, I know that it may seem that every time I get on to post something, it turns into a gripe about my darling children...why mess with tradition? I thought this story was blogworthy, and if it gets long, I'm sorry. Here goes: Fairly recently, I have started watching the original Law and Order series. I really enjoy it, and since there are no animals singing, it stimulates the mind sometimes. On Thursday or Friday (I can't remember which) Andi was off to Joy School, and Peyton was down for a nap. I decided to take this time (since Dylan had no interest in taking a nap) to bond with my poor neglected middle child. We took some books into my bedroom after lunch, and settled in to read them. Dylan has the attention span, of well, a 2 year old, and quickly lost interest in reading. He found a toy plane or something on the floor, and started playing. I decided that since my bonding had failed, we could happily coexist in the same space while completely ignoring each other. I turned on the TV. Yeah! TNT's "primetime in the daytime" was showing syndicated episodes of Law and Order. Detectives Green and Brisco had just caught their suspect and were interrogating him. He wouldn't give them what they wanted to Green plays the bad cop, and grabs him by his shirt collar. Man, this is good TV! Just then, I hear Dylan yell. He looks pretty freaked out, and I don't know why. Had his plane just crashed? Did he need a diaper change? I told him to get on the bed with me. I start asking him what had happened. He starts in on this elaborate story of the "Big guy" hitting someone, and how it had scared him. That this big "blue GREEN yellow" guy was mean, and that he was going to go on his bike to save "that man". Took me a second, but I finally decided that he hadn't just been happily playing on the floor, but that he had seen the interrogation scene, and was now scared of Detective Green. I tried to explain that it was all make believe, and that there was nothing to be scared of, but when Cameron came home, he got an earful of details about the "Big Guy". It was really cute until later that night. Dylan insisted that the big guy was going to get him, and he ended up sleeping with us. The next day, we tried everything to get Dylan to give up the fear of the big guy. Cameron even concocted some crazy story about how the big guy had moved to Canada, but Dylan wasn't convinced. Slept with us again. No biggie, sometimes kids just need their parents, right? Well, last night, Cameron and I put the kids to bed, and settled in to watch the much anticipated 2 hour premier of 24. By this time there had been no mention of "the big guy" for 24 hours, so we thought we were in the clear. Just then, Andi leads Dylan to our bedroom door, and blurts out "There are monsters in our woom!" As if we didn't have enough troubles with Dylan already, let's go and throw monsters into the mix! After many attempts to get him to go to sleep in his own bed, and knowing that we definitely couldn't watch the "graphic violence" of 24 with him in the room, we threw in the towel (or so Dylan thought) and went to "sleep". Once Dylan was sound asleep, Cameron transferred him to his own bed, and we finally got to watch our show (starting at 10 instead of 7, thank you Tivo). But, who should join us in our bed around 4 am? Yeah. So, a little soon for Dylan to be watching Law and Order with me? Probably. Personally, I think Cameron is putting him up to it. What better way to avoid having another kid? Nice one Cameron!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Hesitantly Excited

It seems like the folks in Hollywood are trying their best to ruin every one of my favorite childhood shows. Every show that I watched and loved as a kid has been turned into a crappy movie. It's really starting to bug me.

When I was a little boy, I liked The Dukes of Hazzard. I had Dukes underroos (and my parents have a picture to prove it), I had a Dukes playset and a couple of General Lee matchbox cars. I think I had a Dukes lunchbox at one point. When the Bo and Luke got in trouble, I would turn to my brother and say "Are the Dukes in trouble again, Jared?" So yeah, I thought the Dukes were the coolest guys in the world.

So the summer of 2005 rolls around, and I see a commercial with the General Lee flying through the air and someone shouting "Yeeee haaaaaaw!", and it got me excited. The Dukes were on the big screen. Woo hoo! At least, that's what I thought before I found out Johnny Knoxville was playing Luke Duke. I saw the movie anyway, and was unsurpirsingly disappointed. They ruined The Dukes of Hazzard for me.

Before that, in the summer of 2003, the gigantic disaster that was Hulk was made. Everywhere you went you saw Hulk cereal, Hulk oreos, Hulk action figures. I thought that it was kind of cool because when I was a kid, The Incredible Hulk was my main man. I loved the Hulk. I had Hulk underroos (what is it with putting stuff you like on underwear, by the way?), I remember having a Hulk puzzle. Sometimes when I got mad I tried ripping my shirt off. I never actually saw Bruce Banner change into the Hulk because it freaked me out, but I still thought he was cool. I watched the movie Hulk once. Do you or anyone you know own a copy of Hulk on DVD? No? There's a reason for that.

Way cool.Don't get me started.

One of my favorite cartoons when I was a kid was He-man and the Masters of the Universe. I still have a box of He-Man action figures in my garage. The toys hada spring in their waste so you could twist them one direction, and they would punch. How cool is that? I don't quite recall what my underwear selection was like when I was in second grade, but I'm sure I had He-Man underroos. Of course since I liked He-Man, they made a Masters of the Universe movie back in 1987. I remember seeing this back in the day, but I'm sure it wasn't good. How could it have been good, Dolph Lundgren was cast as He-Man. You can't go from killing Apollo Creed to saving the universe from Skeletor just like that.

Given that history, you think I would be more guarded about my last favorite cartoon show, The Transformers. The Transformers are just awesome. They had the coolest toys, the coolest cartoon show, they were just awesome. So of course, Transformers the movie is coming out July 4th.

Have I learned my lesson from the previously mentioned movies? Of course not. I think the trailers look cool, and I'm excited about the movie. What could go wrong? I'm going to buy my boys Transformers underroos, lunchboxes, and toys just for fun. If the movie stinks, oh well, at least the toys are cool.

Where was the Star Wars Transformers Deluxe Millennium Falcon when I was a kid? Guess what Peyton's getting for his birthday.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Back home again

Last week, Dylan accidentally left a toy of his at church. Except it wasn't just any toy. It was his stuffed lion that he has hauled around with with him everywhere since he got it for his first birthday. He realized that he left it when we were in the car on the way home from church. From the back seat he was shouting "My lion! It's at the church! Let's go get it, daddy!" He was upset when we told him we would just have to wait until next week to get it. The poor lion was left all alone in the dark church where he didn't know anybody. Dylan was left without his sleeping buddy and playmate for a whole week. Poor guys.

Dylan didn't forget about his lion or where it was during the week. Every morning he would wake up and say something like "My lion is at church. I'll go get him on my bike. I'll be right back!" Since I had taken him for a spin on his bike a couple of times during the week, I told him he probably wouldn't make it all the way to the church since he didn't even make it around the block. Reality bites. That didn't stop him from at least trying to get on his bike every day.

Sunday finally rolled around, and as soon as we got to the church, Dylan was really happy and said "The church! My lion!" I took hime around the church for the first half hour looking for his lion, with no luck. When it came time for his nursery class to start up, I asked one of the teachers if they had seen Mr. Lion, and sure enough, they did. They put him in a cabinet when they found him after church last Sunday. Dylan finally has his lion back, and all is well in the world again.

Welcome home Mr. Lion

Anagram names

On our family website, my aunt pointed us to this website ( It makes anagrams out of any words that you type in, so you can put in your name and see what kind of stuff it comes up with. My family's names turned out like this:

Cameron Carter: A Creme Corn Rat or A Man Corrector
Samantha Carter: A Cam Hater Rants
Andreia Carter: A Nectar Raider (She does like juice)
Dylan Carter: Clean Dry Rat
Peyton Carter: Rent Carpet Yo

It gives a ton of different anagrams, some of which don't make any sense, but some are pretty fun (like Sam's name). If nothing else, it's something you can do if you're bored.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Back to Work, Resolutions, and Stuff

Wednesday I went back to work after having a whole week and a half off for the holiday break. (L-3 skips all the Monday holidays through the year so they can close the plant down for a week when everyone is gone anyway. Pretty slick idea.) Going back to work after that long was a little weird. During the break, I had a couple of dreams where I either got fired or quit. They seemed pretty real too, so when I got to work I was kind of watching out for my boss to make sure he wasn't coming over to say "Hey, what are you doing here? Didn't you quit?" The awkwardness of that eventually went away and I realized that I was still employed, which is always a good thing.

I decided that staying employed for the whole year would be a good New Year's Resolution for me. It's one that I can actually keep. I also decided to throw in the whole "I'm going to lose weight" resolution to keep going with my annual tradition. Over the past seven years, here is a list of the resolutions I have made...
2001 - Lose weight
2002 - Lose weight and get my wife pregnant
2003 - Lose weight and don't get my wife pregnant
2004 - Lose weight and get a good job
2005 - Lose weight and win the lottery
2006 - Lose weight and write a book
2007 - Lose weight and don't get my wife pregnant
I reached one of my goals in 2002 and 2004, which is good. I don't know if I'll ever make the annual goal of losing weight. I've thought about looking into a treadmill or an exercise bike. However, I decided that if we did buy one of those, about February or so when I usually give up on the losing weight idea we'd be stuck with this big thing in the game room that doesn't do anything besides remind me of how fat I am. We'll see how those two resolutions work out for me. With Jared and Aubrey having a new baby in a few weeks, I don't think I stand a chance at either resolution for this year.

You're a portly fellow, a bit long in the waistband. So what's your pleasure? Is it the salty snacks you crave? No no no no no, yours is a sweet tooth. Oh you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master, the cocoa bean.
This lovely picture is courtesy of Andi

Hey guys, Dylan wants to go home with you!

It's nice to be able to get away from your own children once in a while. My folks have been here for a week now, and they've watched our kids twice while Sam and I went on a date. You forget how nice it is to sit down and enjoy a meal without having to make sure a kid is eating their food, and that another kids is not throwing their food, and that your kids aren't standing up on their chairs and saying "Hi!" to people who don't have kids and are trying to enjoy their meal. I really do love my kids, it's just nice escape once in a while.