Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Brain Damage

This is my angry old man post for the month...

If you've ever been to the grocery store with three small children, you know it's not an easy thing. You have to get everything on your list while trying to make sure your children aren't hitting, pinching, scratching, or pushing each other, that they're not running in front of other people's carts, and that they're not running away from your or trying to join someone else's family. After putting up with that, you don't feel like doing much besides going home and locking yourself in a sound proof room (which most people don't have) away from your children.

So we were driving home after being at the grocery store with our kids. I was just looking forward to getting home. We had made it all the way into our subdivision, and our house was in sight. Well, between where we were and our house, there is a collection of kids that must have brain damage. I say they must have brain damage, because they think that the street is their place to ride their bikes, play basketball or football, skateboard, or sunbathe, and that cars that try to drive in their street are such a nuisance. They take their dear sweet time getting their brain damaged selves out of the way when you're trying to drive through. The same thing was happening today, with a couple of skateboarding kids practicing their tricks in the freaking road. They saw me coming from a distance away, but didn't move. I kept coming, but they didn't move. I was 10 feet away from them, going 5 miles an hour because if I hit one of the retards, I'm the one that gets in trouble. One of the freaks didn't move until I had slowed to almost a stop so he could get his stupid idiot heinie out of my way.

I had tolerated these kids. They bother me, but I dealt with it and just slowed down and tried to understand that it takes longer for their brains to send impulses to the rest of their body because they're apparently retarded. But from now on, I'm going to start throwing eggs at them and calling them idiots whenever I see them. That may be immature and stupid, but they started it. Now I'm going to laugh a little harder the next time I see a video of a skateboarder that crashes by stradling a railing. Natural selection.