Wednesday, June 28, 2006


Traveling is fun. It’s good to get out of town for a while and take in scenery of some other place. And the trip to and from is a great time to chat with your spouse and listen to music you like. There’s nothing wrong with taking off and finding something to do.

At least that’s what I thought before we had children. Now there’s no spontaneously picking up and taking off. You have to plan every detail of your trip. And if you forget one thing, something simple like gas drops or a certain toy, you’re in big trouble. Then being in the car with the kids and their screaming and fighting and “Are we there yet?” being asked two minutes after we leave the house. By the time you get to where you’re going, you want to leave the kids there for good, because you know you have to turn around and go back.

That’s just the mental part of traveling. Fiscally it’s horrible too. Gas prices are over $3 in Nevada, and since we have to have a stinking mini van to haul all our stinking kids around, it costs an arm and a leg. There’s also stopping for food. Since the two older kids are old enough to fight over toys now, we have to get two stinking Happy Meals so they each get a freaking toy. And when we’re in the car, the kids can’t seem to hold onto anything for more than two minutes. You can only hear “Dad, I dropped my toy” so many times before you want to just get out of the driver’s seat and get the toy for them, just to teach them the lesson that driving the car is more important than their stinking Curious Gorge that doesn’t end wind up.

Then if your trip is for something that isn’t fun, it’s just terrible. If you’re going to a funeral, how do you enjoy the trip at all? “Hey kids, we’re going to bury great grandma, and if you’re good we can get ice cream.” Or there’s the case of our trip this weekend. “Hey kids, you’re getting a new crazy psycho aunt. Don’t give her your toy knives!”

Oh the joy of it all. Where is the thing they use on Star Trek to “beam” you somewhere. Is the government just sitting on that technology? Someone needs to get to work on that.