Sunday, December 31, 2006

Andi's Pictures

Andi had her birthday party yesterday. Dylan was jealous of her the whole time, so he was a super treat to deal with. Andi got her digital camera that Sam got for her on Ebay. So far, it's a real hit. Here are some pictures she's taken that turned out to be alright. She takes a lot of pictures where she cuts people's heads off, so she had a lot of pictures of people's chests. I'm keeping those pictures of Sam in a seperate folder ;). (Sorry, you didn't really need to know that). Anyway, here are some of her pictures.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Not Again

So, our third kid is now mobile. Peyton has started crawling around the floor to get things that he wants. He still can't fight off his siblings for anything, but at least now he'll be able to reach stuff that Andi puts just out of his grasp. Now we just need to keep him away from the stairs, and he should be ok.
I was driving home yesterday, and I switched it to a radio station that had just started playing 'You Give Love a Bad Name' by Bon Jovi. That station had just become my new favorite station. Then right after it, they played some yuppie hippie crap and they're not my favorite station anymore.
It's sad that it's already Thursday of the week that I have off. Why doesn't the work week go by this fast? I don't have a point, I'm just complaining.
Why do kids think balloons are so cool? Andi got a balloon when we went to Chuck E Cheese for her birthday, and she fights with Dylan all the time over the stupid balloon. It's not even floating any more, it's a plain old balloon now, but they still fight over it likes it's the greatest toy in the world. From now until my kids figure out that balloons really aren't cool, I'm getting them balloons for birthdays, Christmas, Easter, and whatever else they would get presents for.

I was the same way when I Was a kid. One time we went to Salt Lake and my cousins and I went to the zoo. We all got balloons there. We took the balloons home like a prized possesion and played with them like they were our new best friends. Well, my cousins ended up popping theirs, and my brother Jared lost his when he tried handing his to me when we were outside and forgot to tell me about it. I was so proud that I still had my balloon, and got to take it all the way home to Star Valley. I never realized that my parents probably thought the crying over the popped and lost balloons was super annoying, and my balloon that I got to take all the way home was probably floating all around the car or getting in the way of my dad's rear view mirror.

If you ever get a chance, watch a kid who just let go of a helium filled balloon in a parking lot. For a few seconds they watch in amazement as it floats up in the air above the buildings. Then that amazement turns to horror as they realize that the balloon isn't coming back. Then for the next 5 minutes they weep uncontrollably as if a close relative has just died. Poor parents. Ha ha!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Brain Damage

This is my angry old man post for the month...

If you've ever been to the grocery store with three small children, you know it's not an easy thing. You have to get everything on your list while trying to make sure your children aren't hitting, pinching, scratching, or pushing each other, that they're not running in front of other people's carts, and that they're not running away from your or trying to join someone else's family. After putting up with that, you don't feel like doing much besides going home and locking yourself in a sound proof room (which most people don't have) away from your children.

So we were driving home after being at the grocery store with our kids. I was just looking forward to getting home. We had made it all the way into our subdivision, and our house was in sight. Well, between where we were and our house, there is a collection of kids that must have brain damage. I say they must have brain damage, because they think that the street is their place to ride their bikes, play basketball or football, skateboard, or sunbathe, and that cars that try to drive in their street are such a nuisance. They take their dear sweet time getting their brain damaged selves out of the way when you're trying to drive through. The same thing was happening today, with a couple of skateboarding kids practicing their tricks in the freaking road. They saw me coming from a distance away, but didn't move. I kept coming, but they didn't move. I was 10 feet away from them, going 5 miles an hour because if I hit one of the retards, I'm the one that gets in trouble. One of the freaks didn't move until I had slowed to almost a stop so he could get his stupid idiot heinie out of my way.

I had tolerated these kids. They bother me, but I dealt with it and just slowed down and tried to understand that it takes longer for their brains to send impulses to the rest of their body because they're apparently retarded. But from now on, I'm going to start throwing eggs at them and calling them idiots whenever I see them. That may be immature and stupid, but they started it. Now I'm going to laugh a little harder the next time I see a video of a skateboarder that crashes by stradling a railing. Natural selection.

Bogus Birthday!

As many of you know, our "baby" turned 4 years old yesterday. How bad does that stink to have your birthday the day after Christmas? I'll give you a few reasons why it stinks. 1. Everyone is always too concerned with their own new toys to give a flip if it's your special day. "No, MY CHOO CHOO TWAIN!" (direct quote from Dylan.) 2. People are less likely to remember to call you. After all, they had just talked to you the day before, so that should count, right? WRONG! 3. There is no way to be able to have your birthday party on your birthday. Chances are most likely that your little friends will still be traveling home from Christmas visits, and be unable to attend. 4. Christmas wrapping paper. Now, my family has really been good about wrapping Andi's presents in birthday paper, but at Andi's party, I'm anticipating much Santa and snowman paper. Come on, you don't see someone getting Christmas paper in April or August do you? I didn't think so. And last but certainly not least is #5. The shopping! Sure you have all those after Christmas sales, but heaven help you if you need to go into the store to pick up your cake ON your birthday! Massive crowds of people, all eyeing the same 50% off Christmas tree! Oh, and I also should mention that your parents are too preoccupied with Christmas and preparations for visitors to even snap a picture...OOPS! Guess we dropped the ball on that one...we'll get her on Saturday at her party. At least we thought enough about it to BUY her a present, (although we still haven't given it to her) and take her to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch. Time to start celebrating the half birthday? Maybe...

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Christmas Eve

Andi and Dylan decorated some cookies for Santa. They had a lot of fun, and made a big mess.

Lucky Santa got these fine cookies from the Carter kids. Is there such a thing as too many sprinkles on a sugar cookie? Yes.

Our family gets Christmas pajamas on Christmas eve. Andi likes to match her mommy.

The Carter men look exceptionally handsome. (Well, the two smaller ones at least.) Check out Dylan's slippers. They're little cars. He thinks they're the coolest thing.

We make some good looking kids.

Friday, December 22, 2006

All Over the Place

What I've written below is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in my rambling, incoherent post was I even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone visiting this website will be dumber for having read it. Just so you know.

Did you know that TBS has Saved By the Bell on at 6:00 and 6:30 weekday mornings? Woo hoo! I found that out the last couple of mornings because the kids have been waking up early. This morning I was hoping that they would show part two of the To Be Continued episode they showed yesterday morning, but they didn’t. Now I’ll never know what happened after Lisa crashed Mr. Belding’s car. I like Full House too. You can make fun of me, I’m used to it.

Look, she's happy.
She probably didn't order
anything from her website.

I thought that if you placed an order online from a company that says they’ll process your order within one business day, and you had it sent via USPS Priority 2-3 days, that you would be able to get what you ordered within at least two weeks. Boy was I wrong. At this point Sam is getting shafted in the presents under the tree department. I’ll have to drop by Wal-Mart and pick up a can opener or an egg beater and find wrapping paper that has “Sorry” written all over it.
P.S. I hate you, Down East Basics.

This week has gone by so very slow. I woke up on Monday thinking it was Wednesday, so that got me thinking that the next two days were Thursday and that yesterday was Friday. Next week, when I don’t have to go to work, is going to fly by.

I’m not sure about this whole Iverson being traded to Denver thing. He is second in scoring in the league right now. Who’s first in scoring? His teammate, Carmelo “I’m gonna slap you and run away like a girl” Anthony. Between the two of them, they average 62 points a game. I don’t think that’s going to continue when they’re both playing. At least they can sit around and braid each other’s hair.
Best Friends 4 Ever

What should I get my dad for Christmas? He might want a potato peeler or a spatula. Who doesn’t want that?

Monday, December 18, 2006

Lets Put it to a Vote

Since we're putting the baby thing to a vote, why not make it a poll on our website? (Not that we really intend to include everyone in our family planning.) Go ahead and vote on that form in the right hand column. If it doesn't work, well, I didn't write the code for it. We'll leave it up there for a couple of weeks and see what happens.

Note added by Sami: After the last couple of days while having to deal with my existing children, I would almost be willing to change my vote...ALMOST. There's nothing like a teething 8 month old, who won't nap (and every time they DO, by some miracle nap, their two year old brother goes in and wakes them up) to change your perspective on procreation! Too bad the poll is anonymous...but thanks to all who voted!


Lately, Cameron and I have been debating about the possibility of having another baby. This is by no way an announcement of any kind, but since Peyton is nearly 8 months old, and we're usually expecting another one by the time our kids have their first birthday, the subject has come up. I'm pro having "just one more" to even out the score. Cameron is against it because we should "quit while we're ahead". We've been at a deadlock for weeks now, probably months, so we decided to take it to the jury. The other night we were driving home from the store, and this is the conversation (the best I could recall) that followed:

Me: "Andi, should mommy and daddy have another baby?"
Andi: "No"
Me: "No? You don't want another baby brother or sister?"
Andi: "No"
Me: "But if you have a sister, you can play dolls with someone."
Andi: "Momeeee" (in a slightly disgruntled tone)
Me: "Don't you want someone to play dolls with?"
Andi: "Nooooo."
Me: "Why not"
Andi: "Cause we've gots too much kids!"
Me: "Andi, am I annoying you?"
Andi: "Yes, stop annoying me, mommy!"

Cameron says we have to listen to her, I say the jury is still out. At least I know where she stands on the subject...

Added by Cameron:
We should listen to Andi. She's a smart girl. She knows that if we have one more kid we'll be stuck in mini van land for good. Who wants that?

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

There is a Santa Claus!

So, in my previous entry, I was...well, frustrated with the whole Ebay monopoly of toys, particularly the "Kid tough digital cameras", but my outlook has changed a bit since I WON A BID!!! I was at a Relief Society progressive dinner tonight, and I got home, and Cameron told me in a disgusted tone that "someone" had won one of "those things" for $61. I jokingly asked if it was me, and he told me that it was! I'm so excited. I actually got a camera for the same price I probably would have paid for it with tax and everything, and I had enough money in my Paypal account from taking online surveys to cover the shipping. I actually did make out like a bandit, and I'm happy that I will not have to find an alternative gift for Andi. There really must be a Santa Claus!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

What I know for sure...

Not only is Christmas becoming too commercial, but so is Andi's birthday. So what if they are only a day apart! Here's the story: We have been planning to get Andi one of those Kid Tough digital cameras for her birthday. They retail for about $55.00. The only problem is, every store in the country is sold out of them, along with the online stores. Well, yesterday it hit me! I'll try Ebay! So, I found some on ebay. In fact there was one seller that had 3 pink ones, 1 blue one, and 1 red one. Nobody had bid on them yet, and I thought: "Hey, the starting bid is $19.99, I could end up making out like a bandit! So, I bid, with Cameron's blessing, setting my maximum bid of $55 (seems about right to at least be WILLING to pay retail, even though I wouldn't have to...). I had no idea how naive I was. I was checking up periodically last night, and I remained the top bidder until at least 10:00 (12 hours from time of auction closing). When I woke up, after I got Andi dressed and ready for Joy School, I decided to check the progress. I was disheartened to find out that through the course of the night my bid had raised from $19.99 to $51. (So much for getting it below retail, I thought) I still had high hopes for getting it, because 15 minutes before auction closing I was still the high bid at $53. By this point, I had raised my max bid to $60 just to be on "the safe side". In the last 15 minutes, I watched that puppy jump from $60 to $93.00! That is what the winning bidder has to pay! I was thinking, You people are IDIOTS! You can wait until a week after Christmas, maybe 2, and get the same flippin' thing for $54.99! So, what I know for sure is that Andi will most likely not have that gift to unwrap on her birthday, but we will get her something cheap, and she'll have her party, and within a few weeks we'll take her to Walmart to get her "real" present. I hope you're proud of yourself jimmar6419! Shame on you for stockpiling toys, and then exploiting parents' love for their children! But ask me how I really feel about losing... What really makes me chuckle on the inside, is if the winning bidder would have just gotten on there last night they could have "bought it now" for $84.99! HA HA HA!!!

Sidenote: I just checked for these Camera's and the cheapest one is: $134.92! It's like the Tickle me Elmo, and the Cabbage Patch kids all over again!

Monday, December 11, 2006

It's so wrong

We should have done this a couple of months ago, but todaywe went and registered our van in Texas. It just seems so wrong for some reason. Our van is no longer the unique out of state van, it's just another van from Texas. Just another plain old gray minivan. If anyone is shopping for Christmas presents for me, I wouldn't mind a sports car of any kind.
Not only did they make me change plates on my car, they took my Nevada driver's license. Now I'm not going to get the "Hey, Nevada, cool" comments when I have to show someone my ID. I'm just another guy from Texas. Bummer.
Hey, I just inadvertently drew a parallel between me and my minivan. How sad is that? It's a good thing I'm not 40 or I'd probably end up going out and buying myself that sporty car and a Member's Only jacket and cranking up some REO speed wagon in the parking lot at work.
Oh, and as a welcome to Texas, they give you a $90 "Welcome to Texas" registration fee. Thanks for taking my money, Texas!

Trouble in paradise.

Last Sunday Cameron and I had our friends, the Crookstons, over to our house for dinner. We had a lovely time, and were enjoying some nice conversation down in the living room, when we heard Andi exclaim: "Come on Noah! It's time to get married." Well, we did what any parents of preschoolers would do... We yelled up the stairs: "No Kissing" and we started discussing prenuptual agreements and living arrangements. Unfortunately, Jared and Aubrey were not keen on the idea of taking Andi home with them, so they left with only the 2 1/2 kids they came with. The next week went pretty predictably. Andi, always the devoted and bossy wife, instructed Noah when his mom was there to pick them up from Joy School, and they argued about when and where the Christmas Party was. I guess that was the last straw for Noah. Today, we went to the Crookston's for dinner, and were informed that Noah told his parents that he and Andi weren't married anymore, but they were still friends. Andi confirmed the news to us a few moments later. So sad, the honeymoon had just begun, the name change wasn't even final, and it's over. I guess we'll see what happens at Joy School this week... Stay tuned for further installments of: "The Young and the Napless."


As Cameron previously mentioned, we took the kids Christmas shopping yesterday. Well, I thought I was being really sneaky, because after we parted ways to go pay for our individual treasures, I went in search of 2 very specific gifts I wanted to get Cameron. He had no idea of my plan, or my success really, until we got home. Not 30 minutes after getting home, Andi announces to Cameron that we got him a Superman movie at the store. I neither confirm or deny this, but my reaction to her saying it pretty much gave it away. I thought we had trained her to only say that she got "presents" or "surprises" for daddy and her brothers, until I came out of my room from working on a special project for Cameron, only to find out that she had spilled some of the beans on that one too. Who's gettin' nuttin' for Christmas? ANDI!!!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

The Kids and Santa

This is a video of our kids and the Crookston's kids seeing Santa at my company's Christmas party. It's not all that exciting, and it's like 6 minutes long, but hey, if you have 6 minutes to kill, here's something.

If the embedded video doesn't work, then this link will do, if that link doesn't work, then God Bless You.

You weren't supposed to see that

Saturday we braved the crowds at Wal~Mart to buy our kids toys for Christmas. They had just seen Santa the night before, and Andi told him that she wanted a doll house. We were planning on getting her one of those anyway, so score one for us. We had split up to do our shopping in hopes that Andi would not find out what we were getting, or see what we got for Dylan or Peyton's Santa gift and then figure something out on Christmas morning. I took the boys and Sam took the girl.
If you've ever been in the toy department at Wal-Mart, you'll notice that they're not really that big. So I passed by Sam every now and then. I got Andi's doll house and stuck it underneath the cart so she wouldn't notice.
The next time we passed Sam and Andi, Andi pointed at the box underneath my cart and said "Hey look, it's my dollhouse! Thanks Daddy!" D'oh! So much for keeping that a secret. I quickly came up with a story about how I was going to take the box to Santa so he could see exactly what it is that she wants. I'm glad she's only almost 4. If she were any older she would probably ask why she couldn't go see Santa too, or find one of the many holes in my story. I'm going to have to learn to lie better.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

We've Got Video

We have taken a step into the Twentieth Century and bought a camcorder. Now we can annoy people with stupid videos of our kids. Here are some now.

Here's a video we took the other night of Andi trying to help Peyton eat. Dylan's in there somewhere too.

Merry Christmas from Andi and her cousin Cari.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Week In Review

The 900-mile drive for Thanksgiving was pretty uneventful. We didn’t have time to stop by the National Corvette Museum or Graceland, but maybe next time. Next time may be when the kids are in their teens. We did get a chance to see some of Arkansas’s finest roadside trailer parks. (How does one person end up with 10 broken down washing machines in their yard?) We also found the town with a really bad name. Arkadelphia Arkansas. On their water tower they painted “Arkadelphia: A Great Place to Call Home.” You might as well just call it home if you live there, because just saying Arkadelphia makes you cringe a little.

Sam sent me to the get a book that she needed for Joy School on Wednesday night. I had to drive like 20 miles to get to a Barnes and Noble, which compared to Star Valley isn’t bad because there you have to drive 20 miles to get to a gas station. Anyway, I was going there to pick up “The Giving Tree”. I’m not a fan of the Barnes and Noble stores because it seems like a huge gathering place for yuppies. Starbucks and artsy fartsy books, it just screams yuppie to me. Anyway, I get to the register with “The Giving Tree” to check out. If you haven’t read that book, it’s not exactly a long literary masterpiece that is hundreds of pages long. It’s a children’s book about some tree that gives stuff away to a boy or something, I’m not sure, I didn’t make it all the way through yet. The guy rings the book up, and with taxes the thing came to $17. $17 for the giving tree? What the heck? I thought that The Giving Tree had better include a ten-dollar bill inside that the tree hands you. (It doesn’t by the way.) After the guy told me the total, he asked if I wanted to buy a book to donate to a children’s hospital in the area. Hello, you just sold me The Giving Tree for $17! I think you can take part of that $14 profit and donate it to the children’s hospital yourself, Paco! P.S. Bah Humbug to you sir.

On Thursday there was a winter storm that passed over the Dallas area. On Wednesday and Thursday all you saw on the news was stuff about this huge winter storm. They were predicting ice and then one to two inches of snow/sleet and temperatures in the 20s. Wow that sounds nasty. You know what they call that in Wyoming? August.

Peyton had a doctor appointment and got his immunizations on Friday. I wasn’t there with him because I was at my own doctor appointment getting some blood pressure medicine so my heart doesn’t explode when I’m 35. Somehow it was my fault that Peyton had to get shots.

I wouldn’t let Andi watch “her shows” until after NFL Matchup, a half hour long show, was over. Apparently I’m a bad father because of that.