Saturday, July 28, 2007

Wait Til Your Mother Gets Home!

Sam spent all day today at Aubrey's house making a dress for Andi. Since she was gone, that left me watching the kids by myself. It's not such a bad thing because they are my kids and all that, but I think today I got a little taste of what Sam goes through while I'm at "work". Here's a time line of how my day went, in case you're interested.

We dropped Sam off at the Crookston's house around 10:00 I thought "This should be easy. I'll just do the dishes really quick and maybe clean the living room and have the kids clean their rooms. Then I can spend the rest of the day watching TV or playing Madden. I might even get to take a nap. Woo hoo!"

The following things happened before one o'clock:

I swept the floor, did the dishes, and wiped off the table.
I gave the kids cinnamon rolls for cleaning their rooms.
Peyton thought crumpling his cinnamon roll into little bits and throwing it on the floor was way cool.
I swept the floor a second time.
While I was sweeping the floor the second time, I heard some rustling upstairs that didn't sound right. I head upstairs to find Andi and Dylan pulling all the wires out from behind our entertainment center.
I noticed that to Dylan, cleaning your room means "Take everything off the floor and put it on your bed."
I helped Dylan clean off his bed.
I try to think of a way to go back in time and take Dylan's cinnamon roll away from him. No luck.
I listened to the kids telling each other knock knock jokes.
The kids fight over whether the joke ends with Apple Poopy or Banana Poopy.
My hairline receded half an inch.
I forgot that the children need lunch.
I gave them corn dogs for lunch.
Dylan decides to be an artist and uses his corn dog as a brush and mustard as paint to create a happy little tree on the table.
I wiped off the table a second time.
Peyton thought throwing chips on the floor was way cool.
I swept the floor a third time.
I had to referee at least four different fights and fix one boo boo.
I think my hairline receded a quarter inch.
Peyton took a nap. Sort of.
I sat down to read a magazine. I got up to get a glass of water. Peyton ripped three pages out of my magazine in the minute I was gone.

That was all before one o'clock. The nap I thought I would take didn't happen. I didn't watch any TV. My 49ers team went untouched. By three o'clock I was ready to lock myself in a room and pretend that I didn't have children. Today I learned to appreciate what Sam goes through every day. I'm amazed she's still able to complete sentences and has all of her hair. Next time I watch the kids by myself, I won't be giving them a sugar filled treat at 10:30 in the morning, and I'll have a roll of Duct Tape close by.


Sami said...

I was very impressed with Cameron's willingness to be me for the day. He also took the kids to Babies R Us (did I mention I won my argument? New carseat, swing, and thing to put in the carseat. What a good dad!) and grocery shopping later in the day. He never called to check how much longer I would be, even when it went way past midnight. It just made me laugh to read how similar his day sounded to many I have had. I may have my all my hair, and be able to talk in complete sentences, but sometimes, I twitch a little...

Jared said...

And she wanted another one...

Mandy said...

That sounds so familiar it made me laugh out loud. My husband still wonders why the house isn't spotless when he comes home, after all I've just been home with the kids all day, how hard can it be to watch kids and keep the house clean...

mattandbecky said...

So funny. I can't believe how much this resembles my every day. Matt can hardly handle an hour, let alone a whole day. Poor guy. I feel for you. "What have you been doing all day?" What a question. Maybe one day I just won't do any of those things. Thanks for the laughs. I always love reading your board.