Popular Shows I Will Not Watch

I have decided to not watch the following shows:

Grey's Anatomy
I don't care how many people say it's a great show and blah blah blah. I've seen it advertised on Lifetime. Strike One. It's on Thursday nights against CSI and Scrubs. Strike Two. And it has that guy from the movie from the 80's that threw poop at his friends house. What a jerk. Strike three.

Desperate Housewives
Because I'm a guy.

American Idol
I made the mistake of watching a whole season of this a while back. We had some friends that convinced us it was cool. Well, it's not cool. They should rename this show to Dorks Singing Karaoke or Bleeding Eardrums. If I want to listen to someone try to sing who really can't sing, I can sing in the shower, or buy a Cake CD.

Survivor
Idiots living together on an island. The first two or three seasons were mildly entertaining. What are they up to now, 20? They should change their slogan to "If you can't get enough of watching idiots argue with each other at work, come watch Survivor, Thursdays on CBS."

CSI: Miami
You're really pushing it there Horatio Cane. I haven't completely given up on this show because it helps me get to sleep on Monday nights.

Two and a Half Men
I first watched this show thinking it would be another forensic type show. It turns out that it's Charlie Sheen playing Charlie Sheen. He's really branching out there.

I could keep going, but I won't. (You're welcome.) Horatio just took off his glasses to talk to somebody, and I need some shut eye.

Weather

Just thought I would point out how much better our weather is than everyone else's. Our low is the same or greater than your high. Ha ha.

Not Cool!

The following things are not cool

Have you ever seen one of those Dateline shows where they catch online sexual predators? It's kind of scary to think that stuff like that happens nowadays. Luckily it always happens in faraway places like Jacksonville, or New Jersey, or Rockwall county Texas. Hey wait a minute, that's the county that WE live in! Ah, crap! Where the heck did I move to?

Andi and I were playing bolwing on our Nintendo Wii (which is totally awesome!!!) We were being polite and sharing. Andi said that Jesus is happy when we share. I confirmed that he is. Then she said "Jesus wants us to have another baby." Come again?

Sam and I went on a date Friday night, which was cool because it was time together away from the children. We decided to go to a movie because, well, could you really see us clubbing or something like that? Honestly, we're the two geekiest white people in the world. Anyway, we went to see Because I Said So. After we saw Something's Gotta Give a while back, I told myself to never watch another movie with Diane Keaton in it. Why didn't I listen to me? If you've seen both of those movies, you know what I'm talking about.

I didn't pay attention in English classes when they taught me what to do with titles of stuff when I'm writing. I'm going with italics for movie titles today.

Another power bill? I just paid one of those last month.

Every now and then I decide "I'm going to stop drinking Mountain Dew this week" as part of starting on my New Year's resolution. I should know better than that. I really should stop drinking it, but I'm not a quitter.

My uncle's family in this picture (sorry guys). This is why there aren't gangs in Wyoming.

Carter Family Dinner...Act 1 Scene 3

This is the dialogue that happened at dinner tonight...enjoy!

Andi: "Look! I ate my chicken all gone!"
Cameron: "Great, now try some of your rice..."
Andi: "I don't like rice..."
Sami: "You don't? Since when?"
Andi: "I'm allergic to rice."
Sami: "You're allergic to rice?"
Andi: "Yes."
Sami: "That's too bad, I guess you can't have rice crispies anymore... (can you tell I'm grasping at straws here?)
Andi: "But I like rice crispies..."
Sami: "Well, you can't have them if you're allergic to rice..."
Andi: "But I'm not allergic to rice!"
Cameron: "Okay, then take a bite of your rice. Just try some, and see..."
Andi: "No. Can I get down from the table?"
Sami: "Only after you take a bite of rice. Rice and corn used to be your two favorite things..." (this is followed by a pathetic bite, allowing only about 4 grains of rice enter her mouth.)
Andi: "Now can I get down from the table?"
Sami: (while grabbing her plate and stacking it onto mine) "Fine. Go upstairs."
Andi: NO! I WANT IT, I WANT MY FOOD! I'M STARVING!!!
Cameron: "Too late, go upstairs."
This is followed by a huge tantrum, and a certain little girl going straight to bed WITHOUT a story. Sound familiar to anyone else with small children? If not, Wanna trade?

Little note added next morning: So, last night, after I posted this blog entry, Cameron and I were going to bed, and he informed me of a little discussion he had with Andi while putting her to bed. Apparently, she was crying, and every time Cameron asked her what was wrong, she would say: "I don't like mommy". Hey, it's not "I hate mommy" but I think I must be doing something right...

Embarrassing Pictures

I meant to put some of these pictures up before, but I didn't get around to it until now.


Notice the chocolate eyebrow. I don't know how that happened.


Interesting fashion sense there.


Some people may say that I have failed in my duty as a father to teach my son that putting dresses on is not cool. I say I have some good blackmail to use against the boy when he's a teenager.

Our new addition!

We adopted a baby! She's a 9 week old golden retriever, and we decided (or, more accurately, I decided) to name her Sadie. We just brought her home today, and the kids couldn't be happier! The breeder said that she should stay this color, but she could change to be as dark as her ears. I think she's a doll, and she makes the estrogen even with the testosterone in the Carter house. Personally, I can't think of a better thing to spend some of our tax return money on, I'm sure some people may disagree...(you know who you are).

Driving Miss...Who?

Now here's a story that makes me look like a neglectful parent (depending, of course on when the events actually transpired...). Yesterday morning while I was getting dressed, Andi was playing with some little plastic keys she has, and I noticed the end was broken off of one of them. I automatically think that these keys are just the right size to fit in a light socket, and so I panic and asked her what happened to her key. She told me that it had gotten stuck. I prodded her further with questions of where it could have gotten stuck. She became somewhat exasperated with me, and told me that it had gotten stuck in "daddy's dresser". I was doubtful, but when she proceeded to search around the area where Cameron's dresser is for the missing peice to show me, I was satisfied, and went about my morning business. An hour or so later I was upstairs nursing Peyton, (why is it that everything of great urgency happens when you are otherwise occupied? ie: in the bathroom, in the shower, or tethered to the couch, nursing a baby) when Andi starts crying from the back room (the one that will eventually be hers, once we have it painted, and furniture for her). She just keeps screaming: It's stuck! It's stuck in there! I can't get it out! Help me mommy! I ask her what's stuck, and where it got stuck, but she just keeps saying: The key, it broke, it broke in there, I can't get it out! Apparently it had gotten stuck in a hole, but where? Then my earlier flash of panic came back to me when I realized that the back room was the only room upstairs that did NOT have light socket protectors! I race to that back room, only to have my worry confirmed. There, in the light socket by the window, was the end of the aforementioned key. I don't know which one of them did it, I'm not even entirely sure when it happened, but socket protectors are going in today, and the keys are history. Luckily nobody was hurt, and Cameron was able to fix everything. I don't know where they were "driving", but it better be to get a good lawyer! What's next...a toy car in the VCR?

That Can't Be Good

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have a temporary crown on my tooth until tomorrow when I get a real one stuck on there. Last night I was eating, which I tend to do, when the thing came off again. Only this time I found out it came off while I was taking a bite, and I broke it. Oops.

I have to wear something over that tooth, so I am currently sporting a temporary crown that has been hot glued together. Are there better solutions than that? Possibly. Does it make me a little white trash even? You might be a redneck if your dental work included hot glue.

I hope the permanent crown stays on better and is sturdier than the temp.

Super Bowl!!!

Super Bowl XXIX. Sweet.

I have many fond memories of watching the Super Bowl. A lot of them come from Super Bowl XXIX, when the 49ers killed the Chargers. Good times. Then there was Super Bowl XXXII when I was on my mission in the DR. The power had gone out (which happens all the time there), so we had to watch the entire game from a Colmado that had a generator. (well, we didn't have to watch it, but we did). Also good times.

It makes me feel bad for people who don't like football and don't have such memories. People like my brothers in law. My wife's brothers never watched sports as kids. They would rather watch Annie, Newsies, or Grease, or do each other's hair, or whatever it is they do. Sam's sister Meg's husband, Sam, is from Ghana, so he's ok. Then there's the other one, Josh, he doesn't like football either. Yeah, they're all a bunch of dorks. If any of them read this, I'm not sorry. What is wrong with you?

Sam was actually just on the phone with her sister Brooks, and she said "Who's playing, the Cubs?" Oh my goodness, these people need help.

I'm breaking out my mad photoshop skills. Go Peyton.

Anyway, the Super Bowl of course is tomorrow. We're cheering for the Colts. Why? Because I can't be yelling "Smash Peyton! Squish him! Get him, get him" at the TV without some bad consequences coming out of it.

I'm gonna get all John Madden on you now and make some game analysis. First of all, whoever scores the most points is going to win this game. So, a major key to victory is scoring points. They should also avoid jumping into the stands to punch a heckler, because if you jump in the stands and start a riot, that can't be good for your team.

The Bears will not win because they did not record a Super Bowl Shuffle remix. Chicago has not won the Super Bowl any year that they did not make a music video. Bad move guys.

I am looking forward to the game, kind of the commercials, and I'm glad the NFL gave us a good break at halftime by scheduling Prince. I've never listened to a Prince song all the way through, and I don't intend to start.

Strange way of showing it!

Yesterday, I babysat Noah Crookston so that Aubrey and Jared could take their other two kids to the doctor. Not an abnormal occurance by any means, our kids have kinda started to melt together to be more like extentions of the other family. I have posted many times the drama that goes on between Andi and Noah, but yesterday was a little different...The kids were all upstairs playing (except Peyton who was doing his best to try to sleep through the noise) while I was downstairs trying to use the time to be productive. Hard to be productive when you have to go referee every 15 minutes. Dylan had been a real butt all morning, had scratched Peyton, and hit Andi across the face with a toy car, leaving a nice red mark, and tiny bruise. Because of this, it was no surprise to me that I heard Noah crying more than once. I think he was confused, because every time I went up to ask what had happened, he would say Andi hit him. Maybe he just couldn't remember Dylan's name, or maybe he was just crying too much for me to be able to descipher exactly which name he had said...who knows? Dylan was continuously being put in time out because Andi would agree that Noah was telling the truth about Dylan. Lunch was great, the kids were sharing, and eating, and having fun. Noah turns to me and tells me that Dylan is his "best buddy" (along with his dad, of course). I asked if Andi was his best buddy too, and he said "No, she's my best girl." About an hour or so after lunch, and after many more referee sessions that required Dylan to give Noah hugs in apology (and a kiss that made Noah obviously uncomfortable) I was in my "last straw" mode when I heard Noah crying again. Not just crying, He was near hysterical! Turns out the kids had been playing with a plastic container under the bed, and some how, it hit Noah on the back of the head. I put Dylan in another time out, telling him that he had to stay in his separate room until Noah had gone home. Then Noah said that "Handy did it too...she hit me in the neck with that fing!) He did have a slightly red mark, so I thought it best to trust him even though Andi denied the allegations. Both Carter defendants were now in time out, leaving Noah to play by himself, or come down and hang out with me until his parents came to get him. No surprise, he got bored with me after about 45 seconds, and started asking if he could play with "Handy". I explained over and over, that I was not going to put him in the position to let my kids beat on him anymore, so he couldn't play with them anymore that day. Finally, he broke down and told me that Andi hadn't really hit him, and asked if now he could go play with her! Our kids may all be best friends, but sometimes that have a funny way of showing it!