Monday, July 03, 2006


So, what exactly do kids have against bedtime? I would really like to know. If I could go to bed at 8:00 at night, I’d be totally fine with just hoping right in there and catching some Z’s. The same thing with naps. If someone shut me in a room at 1:00 in the afternoon and told me I have to take a nap I would do a little dance and happily hit the sack.

But if you try to get a kid to do that, they fight you tooth and nail about it until they pass out. Sometimes it’s a passive aggressive thing with them asking for countless drinks of water and every toy in their toy box. Other times it’s a scream fest. I guess they think that if they scream loud enough, bedtime will be extended by an hour or two. Dylan has perfected a bicycle kick on his bedroom door that would make Liu Kang proud. (Sam, Liu Kang was a character on Mortal Kombat who had a bicycle kick move, kind of like what Dylan does to his door.)

I just don’t understand. Maybe they’re scared of the dark. They should stop taking their night light out of the socket. Maybe they’re thirsty. No, this can’t be. I give them a gallon of water each before bed. Maybe they’re afraid of monsters. Come on, Monsters Inc. was supposed to take care of that one. Maybe they’re just trying to find another way to torture their parents. Hey, I may be on to something there.

Whatever their reason, someday when they’re all teenagers and they need to go to sleep, I’ll start kicking my door and screaming about water and a Nemo blanket. They may come in my room and look at me like I’ve lost my mind and tell me to be quiet and go to sleep. But it’ll be worth it, because then. . . Wait a minute. Then I’ll be that much older and that much more tired. Forget that idea.