Thursday, June 04, 2009

NBA Finals Preview

It's time for the NBA Finals! Woo hoo! Here's my breakdown of the matchups and my prediction for who is going to win.


Dwight Howard vs. Andrew Bynum

Ok, Dwight Howard is good. Andrew Bynum is not good. Howard dresses up like Superman and is an athletic freak of nature. Bynum wears Superman underoos.
Dwight has a cool name. Who doesn't like the name Dwight? I love it. I think it's because of Dwight on "The Office". I'm thinking of renaming Peyton Dwight just for fun. Andrew, not so cool. He can't really go by Bynum either, because that just sounds like a word from Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary.
Advantage: Orlando


They used to be cavemen. Now they are Forwards.

Unfrozen Caveman Forwards!

I don't know, this one is a toss up. I think it's the people with HDTVs that lose this matchup.
Advantage: Standard Definition

Not As Ugly Forwards

Lamar Odom vs Rashard Lewis

Lewis is 6'10" and is hitting three pointers like nobody's business. Lamar Odom likes moonlit walks on the beach and recreational marijuana use. Always vote against the hippies!
Advantage: Orlando


Kobe is better than anyone the Magic can throw at him. If they actually pick people up and throw them at him, he may be in trouble, otherwise the Lakers are in pretty good shape at guard.
Advantage: Lakers


Adam Morrison is on the Lakers bench. Though he hardly ever plays, his good looks and enthusiasm will provide a much needed spark during timeouts.
Advantage: Lakers.

My Prediction

They'll win in 6 games. Why? Kobe is my age. I've got to cheer for the old guy. You never know, it could be his last Finals before he starts going downhill. Plus I cheered for the Magic when they were in the Finals back in 1995. They got swept by the Rockets. I cried myself to sleep on my pile of Magic shirts while wearing my Magic hat and asked my Shaq and Penny poster "Why?" Never again.