Wednesday, February 20, 2008

We're all in big trouble

"I believe the children are the future." If that's true, we're all in big, big trouble. Why? I'll tell you why. The current generation of teenage kids are complete idiots. That's not just the old man in me talking, that's the truth. They're idiot kids who wear ski caps in the summer, shorts and t-shirts without coats in the winter, ride on skateboards and have wheels in their shoes that allow them to skate around stores like flying maniac idiots while the rest of us are trying to live in a society.

One of the worst things about these moronic kids is the text messaging. They do it in church, at school, while walking, eating, brushing their teeth, doing homework, and talking on the phone. It's ridiculous. Not only is it annoying, it seems to suck all the logic and literary skills right out of them. There's just something wrong about communicating through something that encourages you to shorten words like "why" and "what". No wonder we have an obesity problem in America, kids are too lazy to push two extra buttons on their stupid cell phones.

You may ask where all this anger and hostility is coming from. Sam and I are currently trying to convince one of these idiot teenagers that our cell number is not his girlfriends cell number. Over the past few days, we've received 15 text messages from this kid. Here's the string of messages, with the idiot's messages in the designated idiot color purple:

Feb 12
Call me at 208651.... jared p

Feb 13
I cant call tonight sorry. my mom wont let me

Call this number 208651....

Dude, you have the wrong number

Feb 18

Feb 19
thanks 4 the v day gift

thanks 4 the v day gift

night (Such poetry. This guy is some Casanova.)

Wrong number

Feb 20


(At this point
I decide to break up with him to save the girl some time.)

I don't think this is working. We should see other people.

wut the

I'm serious

About wut

Before you reply to this, or ever send a text message, maybe you should make sure you have the right number. Just a thought...

(You would have thought the punctuation would have convinced him that he had the wrong number.)

wuts this number


thats the number i have

Well, it's not the right number. Trust me.

k. then wut is

(After that, I tried to break up with him in his own language because I think I lost him with the spelling words out and all)

that's it u and i r over. i dont want to c u anymore (I'm sure I messed that up.)


Ok pal, seriously, stop sending messages to this number. You are really starting to irritate me.

That's the last message that I sent. I'm sure we'll hear something back from him in a day or two because his power of retention don't seem to be refined yet. If these are the kind of people that are going to be running the country when I retire, I think I'm going to move to Canada.


aubrey said...

You guys are great! Thanks for the laughs, I really needed it today.

Brooks said...

Have you ever considered submitting a piece of your work to the local newspaper?? This stuff is priceless!