Come Back Steve

Happy 46th Birthday to my favorite quarterback, Steve Young.
Now that the pleasantries are over, time for the real reason of this post. Steve, get your butt back on the football field. I'm serious man. You're only 46. Vinnie Testaverde is going to start a game Sunday for the Panthers. That dude's like 63 years old, and he'll have to be pushed around in a wheel chair for the second half of the game, but he's still doing it.

Come on man, your old team needs you. They're last in the NFL in yardage and points scored. They're 2-3 and they've only won two because those games were against the Arizona Retirement Community Cardinals and St Louis Hip Replacement Center Rams. Don't make your fans sit through more losses dude, it makes me feel dead inside.

Joe Montana won four Superbowls. You only won one. Do you want to live in the shadows of Joe Montana for the rest of your life?

You may say that you had to leave because you had multiple concussions. Pansy. My grandfather was trampled by a herd of cattle once. He had three broken ribs, a compound fracture of his tibia, a blown MCL and ACL, a broken wrist, and lost vision in one eye. Did he quit? No! Why? Because he had a job to do. Get your lazy butt out on the field on do you job, ya bum!

Do you know who the quarterback of your team is? Alex Smith! The kids has thrown like 300 interceptions in four games this season. He's ruining the legacy of all great 49ers quarterbacks. If you're not coming back at least teach him how to throw a football. Please.

I miss you Steve. I miss your laugh. I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.

(That last part was from "Anchorman", if you were wondering.)