Thursday, April 13, 2006

Down to the Wire

Well, Sam has a Dr. appointment today at 3:15. So, pending the results of that, she'll either be really miserable and in labor at this time tomorrow, or just really miserable. Some days I am really glad I am not a woman. This is one of those days. Actually most days I'm glad I'm not a woman. Ok, the only time I wish that I was a woman is when my wife is mad at me and it would take another woman to figure out what I did.

I don't know if we're really ready for the baby yet. We cleaned some stuff in the house on Saturday, but it's not really done or anything. We are planning on setting up a bassinet in our room, but to do that we have to clear the mounds and mounds of clutter to be able to find the floor in there. I think we should just let the baby sleep in the same bed as Dylan. Of course, the other day when I was trying to take a nap on the couch, Dylan so kindly came over and stuck his finger in my mouth. I wonder what he could do to a little baby. "Welcome to the world baby, this kid 4 times your size is now going to sit on you, jam his finger in your mouth, and pat you on the face while shouting 'BABY!' at you." And this kids thinks it has it hard in the womb.

Some days I wish that I could go back to being a baby. Everyone looks at you and does stupid thigns to try to make you smile, you can sleep whenever you want and not be called lazy, you just have to cry for food, attention, sleep, more blankets, pretty much anything. And you don't even have to get up to go to the bathroom. You just go.

Of course there are drawbacks to being a baby. Like the day of birth. Your head is smashed through someone's pelvis. They smack you around until you cry. They poke and prod you and shine stuff in your eyes that haven't yet seen the light of day. It's got to be dang cold compared to what you're used to. And if you're a boy, "They're gonna cut what off of where?"

To summarize, I'm glad I'm the father and just have to coach.