Friday, May 09, 2008

Sleep Deprivation

Ten years ago (holy crap I'm old), I was serving a church mission in the Dominican Republic. It was a wonderful time. Why? Because I got to serve others and spread the gospel and that sort of thing, yeah. But, we also had a break from 1 - 3 for lunch and studying. Most days I would lay down in bed to "study" and end up taking a two hour nap. Ah, naps. So nice. Good times.
When I got home from my mission, I ended up talking to some friends who got married and had a kid. I was complaining about how tired I was because I didn't get 8 hours of sleep and a nap, and how I wasn't going to be able to function on such a lack of sleep. They both kind of rolled their eyes at me and laughed. "8 hours of sleep in one night. That would be nice." Looking back, I'm surprised they didn't punch me in the face for being such an idiot. I wouldn't have blamed them. If I could go back in time, I would punch myself in the face for being such a pansy.
Nowadays I would gladly cut off the pinkie toe on my left foot for eight hours of sleep in one night and a nap. In the past five and a half years Sam and I have probably had around a dozen nights where we slept through the night uninterrupted. Six of those nights we had left our kids with my folks to take a vacation, and the other six or so we accidentally left the baby monitor turned off. Naps never happen unless you can count laying down for ten minutes before having a child storm in your room or poke you in the face and demand juice, a snack, or justice.
On the bright side of not getting any sleep, you can do some things you wouldn't have time to if you were actually sleeping. The other night Soni was up until two, and I found out that NewsRadio is on at 1:00. Yeah, baby! The next night Soni was wide awake at four, and I got to play the Wii for three hours before going into work. Woo hoo! I couldn't have done that if I was sleeping.
There are drawbacks of course. Since I got three or fours hours of sleep those nights I ended up losing the ability to know when I was using my internal monologue or actually talking. That wasn't too bad until I started singing along to Air Supply out loud. (Come on, you know Air Supply, you want to sing it too. "I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you...") I also forget when I've used one of my lame jokes before. (Hmmm, singing out loud to Air Supply. That never gets old) Another thing is I keep seeing little things floating around that look like little bugs, so I end up flailing around swatting at these imaginary insects. So to recap, I sing love songs to myself and wave my arms around like a crazy person. Yep, I'm a popular guy in the office.
I guess losing sleep is just one of the sacrifices you make when you have kids. It's all good though. You get blessings for it. It's especially nice when those blessings are monetary and $300 per child. Thank you US government!


Anonymous said...

cam, i know how you feel, unfortunantly i have one child (who is on loan to us) who likes to wake up every 2 hours, and i do not sleep well at night either. and having to deal with a client (who isn't mine, but the company's) who does not know the meaning of when to say when, when it comes to drinking beer. i hate being on call.

beckyjune said...

We know how you feel, too. Sleep is so highly overrated. So are things like showers, clothes without spit-up all over them and warm meals. The funny thing is that Matt most often compliments me on the days I feel I look the worst. Sweet guy. Man those bags under my eyes must be pretty dang sexy. Don't get embarassed that I used that word, OK? We sure miss you guys. It's time for another visit, huh? Life is so crazy with these little kids.

p.s. Matt used to like to work out to Air Supply. Don't tell him I told you that, though. So, Cameron, you're not the only one.