The Wii is Kicking My Heinie

For Mother's Day, I got Sam Wii Fit. (She suggested it, it wasn't my idea. I don't have a death wish or anything.) We received it about a week ago. Ever since we got it, it has been kicking my heinie. First, it makes you aware of just how fat you are. I'm tipping the BMI scale at 31.75, which was no surprise because I do have a mirror. The normal range is 20 - 25. To get down to 25, I would have to weigh 180 pounds. I haven't weighed that much since right after my mission, where I walked (I'm guessing) at least four miles a day.

The game has four sections: Yoga, Strength Training, Aerobics, and Balance. For the Yoga and Strength Training sections, you get to pick a pale skinned "trainer" from Hades. I chose to nickname my trainer Lucifer because he makes me do things like push ups and standing on one leg while keeping my "center of balance". When I finish, Lucifer tells me stuff like "You need to work on your balance" and other sweet nothings. Thanks for the feedback, Lucifer!

The Aerobics and Balance games are pretty fun, because they have the feel of being just games, even if they're really tricking you into exercising. There is a jogging game that wants to be your friend so much it will flat out lie to you. At the end of a jogging sessions it told me "You're a great runner." Ummmmm, I quit playing football in high school just because I didn't like running. In gym class I was the kid who got to his next class late whenever we ran the mile because it took me three hours to "run" it. You're a liar, Wii, but I'll take your lie of a compliment over Lucifer's feedback.

Overall I think Wii Fit is pretty cool. It keeps track of your weight whenever you weigh in, and it lets you set goals for weight loss. I set a goal to lose 22 pounds (because that's the max it will let you) by August. It's a lofty goal, but since I have something fun to do for exercise, I might actually make some progress towards that. If not, I'll have the artificial intelligence here to keep my self esteem in check.

Soni is Getting Old

Soni is turning six months old tomorrow. Holy cow! Time flies when it's not your first kid. Here are some pictures of our little "Chubba Wubba".

Here she is hanging out on the couch.

Look at those legs! Rolls on top of rolls.


Here's the backside. Oh my goodness. She's putting the Michellin Man to shame. Believe it or not, this is all on breast milk. Just wait until she starts getting solid foods.

Last Soccer Game

Andi had her last soccer game on Saturday. The season sure seemed to go by quickly. I think she had fun doing it, and learned some things about sports. All she knew before that was "Go Niners!", which isn't too bad. Here are some pictures.


Andi in the midst of the action


Andi on the bench with Noah and Hunter.


The end of game "good game" ritual. It's always fun to watch the coaches trying to get the kids to cooperate enough to do it.


Here's the Jaguars team.


Andi thinks her trophy is pretty darn cool.


Here are Andi and Noah with their trophies. Good work, guys! (It's probably a good thing that I'm nto a photographer for a living.)

We Live in a Full House

I was looking at some blogs this morning, and the kids kept asking who everyone in the pictures were. I kept saying "you don't know them" and "you probably don't know them either". Until I went to Brandon and Diedre's blog. I figured they should know who those people are. I showed them this pictured of Brandon and asked who it is.

Andi: "It's Uncle Barton!"
Me: "No, that's close but not right."
Dylan "It's Uncle Jessie!"
Me: "Wow. Ummm, no."


(Wrong on both counts)

Me: "It's Uncle Brandon."
So I guess the kids have watched Full House a time or two, and don't really know who their uncles are. Sorry, Brandon. We'll work on it.

Happy Mother's Day!

Oops, I got the holiday mixed up. I guess I owe Sam a present. I've seen this website once before and thought it was cool. It's a Mom's Salary Wizard. Apparently I owe Sam a lot of money too.

I would just like to say thank you to my wife for being a great mother for my children. It's not an easy job watching four preschool aged children for 40+ hours a week. I don't know how she stays sane with all the diapers, fights, whining, crying, tattling, fits, messes, demands for snacks/food/juice and whatever else goes on here, all on a limited amount of sleep. You're amazing, babe. Keep up the good work.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. Keep up the good work.

Happy Mothra's Day!

Beware of Mothra, gigantic moth capable of taking down buildings and other monsters such as Godzilla. If you happen to find yourself in a battle with Mothra, the best offensive attack would be to light a candle.

Sleep Deprivation

Ten years ago (holy crap I'm old), I was serving a church mission in the Dominican Republic. It was a wonderful time. Why? Because I got to serve others and spread the gospel and that sort of thing, yeah. But, we also had a break from 1 - 3 for lunch and studying. Most days I would lay down in bed to "study" and end up taking a two hour nap. Ah, naps. So nice. Good times.

 

When I got home from my mission, I ended up talking to some friends who got married and had a kid. I was complaining about how tired I was because I didn't get 8 hours of sleep and a nap, and how I wasn't going to be able to function on such a lack of sleep. They both kind of rolled their eyes at me and laughed. "8 hours of sleep in one night. That would be nice." Looking back, I'm surprised they didn't punch me in the face for being such an idiot. I wouldn't have blamed them. If I could go back in time, I would punch myself in the face for being such a pansy.

 

Nowadays I would gladly cut off the pinkie toe on my left foot for eight hours of sleep in one night and a nap. In the past five and a half years Sam and I have probably had around a dozen nights where we slept through the night uninterrupted. Six of those nights we had left our kids with my folks to take a vacation, and the other six or so we accidentally left the baby monitor turned off. Naps never happen unless you can count laying down for ten minutes before having a child storm in your room or poke you in the face and demand juice, a snack, or justice.

 

On the bright side of not getting any sleep, you can do some things you wouldn't have time to if you were actually sleeping. The other night Soni was up until two, and I found out that NewsRadio is on at 1:00. Yeah, baby! The next night Soni was wide awake at four, and I got to play the Wii for three hours before going into work. Woo hoo! I couldn't have done that if I was sleeping.

 

There are drawbacks of course. Since I got three or fours hours of sleep those nights I ended up losing the ability to know when I was using my internal monologue or actually talking. That wasn't too bad until I started singing along to Air Supply out loud. (Come on, you know Air Supply, you want to sing it too. "I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you...") I also forget when I've used one of my lame jokes before. (Hmmm, singing out loud to Air Supply. That never gets old) Another thing is I keep seeing little things floating around that look like little bugs, so I end up flailing around swatting at these imaginary insects. So to recap, I sing love songs to myself and wave my arms around like a crazy person. Yep, I'm a popular guy in the office.

 

I guess losing sleep is just one of the sacrifices you make when you have kids. It's all good though. You get blessings for it. It's especially nice when those blessings are monetary and $300 per child. Thank you US government!

Happy Cinco de Mayo

I really don't know what Cinco de Mayo is except for an excuse to eat chips and salsa and say all the Spanish words you know like "uno dos tres", "Jose" and "¿Señor Bagley, puedo ir al baño?". (Those are the only words I remember from high school Spanish.) A coworker of mine sent this explanation of Cinco de Mayo to me a while ago, but I don't think it's right.

 

    Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

 

    This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

 

    The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

 

    The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

I guess Cinco de Mayo is also a day for some people to drive 55 on the highway. This morning I got stuck behind some yuppie in a PT Cruiser driving that slow. "I may only be going 55, but I'm getting 19.6 miles per gallon instead of 18.9!" Weinie.

 

That's all my brain can muster right now. Sorry.