Saturday, December 22, 2007


If you've come here to read something that is well organized and makes sense, then you have come to the wrong place, my friend.

Last night Sam and I were in the car and I hit the temperature button to see what the temp was. It was 56 degrees. At night. On December 21st. Man, when I was a kid to get to 56 degrees on a December night, the entire state of Wyoming would have to be on fire, and that's just impossible since Wyoming is covered in four feet of snow on Halloween. When I tell my kids that I had to walk to school through eight feet snow uphill both ways, they won't even know what snow looks like, and since we live in a flat part of Texas they probably won't know what uphill is either.

Soni has this cute habit lately of waking up at 4:30 and refusing to go back to sleep. She did that yesterday morning, so I got up with her and put her in her swing (seen at the right). I tried to start it up, but it would do anything. The music wouldn't come on, the swing wouldn't swing, and the mobile/light show didn't start. So the swing had pretty much become a useless piece of junk. Well, I guess it wasn't just a piece of junk, because it turns out it was also a fire hazard. Yeah, I unplugged it, and the plug was hot enough to leave a slight burn on my hand. The motor area also smelt like burning plastic. This is a great product, it slowly lulls your fussy child to sleep, and then burns them to death. Muahahaha. Fisher Price has a problem here. If you read some reviews on it, every third one says something about smoke or fire. That's a great feature for a baby swing. Luckily the people at Babies R Us were awesome, and they took the swing back even though we didn't have the box or a receipt. We got a new one, and the plug looks different than the other one we had and some other things have changed slightly. Hopefully they fixed the problem. I'll be keeping a close eye on the Swing of Death.

We ate at Panda Express last night, which is a fast food place that serves Chinese food. As soon as we walked in, they started asking what we wanted, which is usually fine except we've only been there once before. I ended up picking some thing that has hot peppers in it. I hate hot peppers. I am such a pansy, I can't stand hot stuff. I bit into the hot pepper, and it starts burning my mouth, and after that I couldn't taste anything else since my taste buds had been rendered useless by the hot pepper from Hades. My Christmas present to you is this: Don't get the Kung Poa Chicken at Panda Express unless you don't mind losing feeling in your face for half an hour. Some people would have known that Kung Pao is hot, but I don't speak Chinese, how was I supposed to know that? If they did have an indicator that it was spicy, I didn't see it. They should have had a big blinking flame icon above it.

Have you noticed how "The most wonderful time of the year" turns people in stores into complete jerks? That could also be said about people driving and people at crowded gas stations. The other day I saw people yelling at each other about whose turn it was at the pump. I figured it wasn't worth waiting in line for half an hour and getting into a fist fight to save four cents a gallon on gas, so I went to a less crowded gas station and saved some stress. Some people just need to take a deep breath and stop being such jerks. While you're taking that deep breath I'm going to grab that last Tickle Me Elmo from the shelf in front of you. Muhahahaha.