Bundling Up

We recently switched our satellite service to DirecTV. Why? Because I don't want a grandson with a dog collar.

When we switched the guy told us "In two weeks you can call AT&T and bundle your Internet service with your TV". Sounds simple enough right?

I wait the required time frame and gave AT&T a call. The friendly automated voice guy helped me get to the department I was looking for. "Easy as pie" I thought. The department answers with a recorded message: "Our business hours are between 8 and 7 weekdays and 8 and 2 on Saturday." since I was calling at 1:30 A.M. after I had quit working for the day I thought that was reasonable.

I called back on Saturday. This time my kids were awake to help me get through the automated voice recognition system.

Automated System: "I see you're calling from xxx-xxx-xxxx. Is that the number you're calling about?"

Soni (from the bathroom): "Daddy can you wipe my bum?"

Automated System (we'll call him Pete): I'm sorry I didn't get that.

Me: Hold on a minute I'm on the phone!

Pete: You want more minutes on your wireless plan? Ok, you now have 2000 minutes a month, your bill will increase by $150 per month. Goodbye.

Me: What? Pete?

I called back after I perform my fatherly duties. This time I kicked the kids out of my room to avoid confusing Pete.

Pete: What can I help you with? Say something like "I want to pay my bill".

Me: I want to bundle my Internet.

Pete: I'm sorry, I don't understand. Try saying something else.

Me: Can I talk to a person?

Pete: Sure, but before I transfer you I need to know what you're calling about.

Me: I want to bundle my Tv

Pete: You want to eat at Applebee's?

Me: Ahh come on!

Pete: I don't understand.

Sadie, our obese golden retriever: Woof woof (translated to "I'm going to eat some tissues out of the garbage now.")

Pete: Ok, you want to bundle your Directv? Let me transfer you.

At this point I am transferred DirecTV's automated system. We'll call her Joy for one of those ironic nicknames.

Joy: What can I help you with?

Me: I've lost the will to live.

Joy: I can help you with that.

Me: I bet you can!

Joy: Hold on, let me transfer you to a representative.

Ok, I'm making progress here. So I thought. Joy transferred me to a nice call center lady that could not help me. She typed up a note and transfered me to some guy that sounded like he was taking my call from his parent's basement. Let's call him Abe.

Abe: What can I help you with today?

Me: Ok, I want to bundle my Internet plan with my DirecTv package.

Abe: Ok, hang on.

I waited while Abe made some clicking noises that I assumed were keyboard strokes and mouse clicks, but in hindsight I am positive he was playing Call of Duty. Not another word came from Abe. Next thinI know the phone goes silent for a few seconds. What do I hear next?

Joy: Welcome to DirecTV

Me: Nooooooooooooo! Abe, I will hunt you down!

Joy: I see you've lost the will to live. I can help you with that.

We are not bundled yet. I'm going to give it another go with Pete and Joy today. What could go wrong?

Nerds!

Brooks told me to post something on here. We went to her house to have our bi-monthly nerd meeting. Dungeons and Dragons were played as well as a game called "Don't sink my sub, bro!" The sub sank, bro.

A new euphemism was created. "I'm going to go kill the kraken." Thanks, Brandon!

That's all I've got. Thanks for the good eats Brooks! I think I gained like 5 pounds.

Vacation Part I

It's been three weeks since we got home from our vacation, so what better time than now to bore you with all the details of that vacation. Woo hoo!


Day One: We drove from our house to Albuquerque, NM. I've always been intrigued by Albuquerque because of Weird Al's 10 minute long song called Albuquerque. I was on the lookout for someone to shave my back for a nickel. No dice. The air did not smell like warm root beer, and the towels were not oh so fluffy. Such a disappointment.


We had been telling the kids the whole day that when we got to the hotel, we'd go to the pool. We got to the hotel, went to the pool, and in the pool was a girl that shall henceforth be known as the spawn of Satan, or SOS for short. Apparently SOS was having her birthday party at the hotel pool (who does that?), and she owned 40 pieces of floaty pool toys that were all in or around the pool, that no one else could look at or touch. She also owned the water in the pool, the pool itself, and the souls of everyone who dared enter. After twenty minutes of being there, we had the choice of drowning SOS in her precious pool, selling our souls for ten more minutes of swimming time, or leaving so we wouldn't have to listen to the sound of her voice reminding us to not touch her pool toys. So, we did the logical thing and drowned her in the pool. I hope the Albuquerque police don't find out. The kid's disappointment of leaving the pool early was soon forgotten when they found out the hotel room had a sofa bed. That was the coolest thing in the world!!!


Day 2: We drove. A lot. Turns out, it's a long way from Albuquerque to Salt Lake. We passed by a lot of scenic stuff around Moab. There was a twenty mile stretch through Moab that was scenic, but the rest of the scenery was kind of lame. We stopped like 40 times so the kids could pee. Soni got mad because we stopped by the side of the road and let the boys pee, but we didn't let her pee on the side of the road too. We eventually made it to Auntie Wick's house. I considered just finding a home there in Utah and moving there, just so we wouldn't have to drive any more.


Day 3: We went through Salt Lake so we could take the kids to Temple Square. We enjoyed it. I think the kids thought it was cool. Here are pictures:

The kids outside the conference center. I forgot to rotate the picture. They thought the waterfall was oh so cool.



Here are the kids on top of the conference center looking at Temple Square below. They didn't jump off of the roof. Score one for us.

Here they are in front of the "Jesus Statue"

Here's everyone in the conference center. That thing is huge! The guy said they fit the entire state of Utah inside of it. I think he was lying.

We left Salt Lake and made it to Star Valley Wyoming, home of THE WORLD'S LARGEST ELK HORN ARCH!!!! Be amazed, be very amazed.
When we got here, I considered finding a house and moving here, so we wouldn't have to drive any more. Then I remembered that it gets to like 120 below in the winter, and decided against it.

I'll post Vacation Part II sometime within the next two months. Try to contain your excitement.

Summer Vacation

For vacation this summer, we went to Star Valley to visit family, and to see the World's Largest Elkhorn Arch. It was super fun.

We played at grandma and grandpa's house

We soaked up some sun at the beach.

We went to Rexburg and showed the kids were we met.

We saw the Grand Canyon on the way home.

Feelin' Groovy

While trying to come up with a title for this post, the old Simon and Garfunkel song came to mind. "Slow down, you move too fast. Gotta make the morning last, just kickin' down the cobblestones, lookin' for fun, and feelin' groovy!"

That about sums up this week.

I've realized that the kids just need to slow down, already! Need a few examples?

1. Soni's hair is now long enough to put in a ponytail, and she will very often (usually while grocery shopping) burst into song. Her favorite at the moment happens to be "we will rock you". We'll be going down the cereal isle, when she will begin to shout "We wheel, we wheel, WOCK YOU!" She has also started this thing where she will scratch Cameron's back, or "do" his hair, and then ask..."All better, Daddy?" I swear, 2 1/2 is a lot cuter on a kid that you know is your last one!


2. Peyton is very proud of the fact that he can now spell his name. Yesterday, I heard him chasing the others around going "Wemember, guys...it's P-E-Y-T-O-N!" He repeated this over and over again, each time spelling it faster than the time before.


3. While at the dentist office today (Cameron and I were taking turns, so I was in the waiting room with the kids) Dylan read me a book. He read the whole thing himself, with very little help from me. Granted, it wasn't a particularly challenging book, but if you know Dylan, you know that he takes after his mother a bit. He's a perfectionist. He doesn't want to try, if he thinks for one second that he might fail. So, up until now, he refused to read to me. Turns out, he's pretty good at it! Let's hope we can get him to keep it up through the summer.
4. Andi has recently taken to reading "chapter books". While her handwriting still worries us that she may be dyslexic, her teacher assures us that it's most likely because she is left handed. I still have no idea how we managed to get a lefty. She's the only one in the house. In an effort to make her look more nerdy, she recently got glasses. Cameron sat content in the knowledget that he was getting his way, with making her less attractive to the opposite sex. Unfortunately, his plan failed. Turns out, she has the perfect face for glasses, so she still looks cute. To add insult to injury...

A few days ago, there was a knock at the door. When Cameron looked out the window, he saw that there were a couple neighborhood kids at our door. Thinking they were panhandlers, Cameron answered the door. To his surprise, the boys asked if Andi could come out to play. That's right, Andi has male admirers. I recognized one of the boys from Andi's class. His name is Christian, and has always been polite to me. We consented, and they ended up playing in our backyard. I wasn't worried, because I figure she's just like me. I always had more boy friends than I had girl friends. Cameron WAS worried for the exact same reason. "She looks just like you, and you're cute! This is the beginning of the end, I tell ya!"

I may be mistaken, but I think I saw a look of "I gotta get me a shotgun" in his eye.

At ease, Daddy, at ease...

I would post a picture of Andi in her new glasses, but I can't seem to find the camera. I'll get right on that. Maybe this time next month, I'll get it on here. Golly, I'm such a slacker...

Four Score and...How Long Is That?

Obviously, I have been doing a stellar job of updating the blog. So well, in fact, that I'm not even going to apologize. I've been updating it in my head...so there. If you can't think back that far, I will remind you that something significant happened 4 years ago.
Granted, if I were a good blogger, I would have posted about this a week and a half ago, but I'm not, so you get to read about it now.

PEYTON TURNED 4!!!

I think he had a pretty good day, even though most of it seemed just like any other day.

For two days before his birthday, Peyton had been asking for waffles as a birthday dinner. However, on the morning of the 19th, Andi woke up, and began telling Peyton all about Chuck E. Cheese, and what kinds of things you get there if you go on your birthday.

Big sisters are SO helpful!

As you can imagine, Peyton's mind did a complete 180, and his tenacity kicked in. After MUCH bargaining, begging, promises to pay for his college education, etc. Peyton finally relented to eat somewhere else (Burger King) as long as we could play at Chuck E. Cheese FIRST.

Do we have pictures from the blessed event? No. Why? Because Cameron and I were too hungry to hold a camera steady, or even remember to take the blingin' thing. Perhaps Cameron has one or two on his phone, but he's not here right now, so that does me no good. What can I say? Parents of the year, here we come!

We do, however, have a few pictures from the party that followed. Heather and the Crookstons came over for cake (which we may or may not have picked up on our way home from Chuck E. Cheese, and it's possible that there was no personalization on it. What can I say, it was a busy week.)

Peyton got this awesome RC car. It's possible that this was also picked up at the same time as the impromptu cake, and could only be wrapped after a quick run over to the neighbor's house to borrow some tape. Like I said, it's possible, but I plead the 5th...

This was NOT an impromptu gift. We've had this baby since Christmas, and couldn't give it to him then, because Dylan spotted it, and we could no longer pull off the "it's from Santa" routine. He loves his Leapster, and with any luck, won't submerge it in water like Dylan did.

The Crookstons got him a "critter carrier" and this fascinating magnifier. Of course, I'm not so sure he's actually used either one for what they're supposed to be for. We do know that the magnifier makes anyone's head look like "an orange on a toothpick" and the critter carrier can carry more than just bugs. I wish he would use it for the ladybugs he collected this weekend though, instead of my jam jars...

Peyton is demonstrating his awesome new "wace cah"! I just love his stance. Looks like he's gonna take off running. Just a note: Soni does NOT make a very good tunnel...

The lame cake the disappointments he calls "mom and dad" bought him. Obviously, he minds...

Happy belated birthday BUGABOO!!

Cam ♥'s Bon Jovi

I love Bon Jovi! I've been listening to them since I was 12. I've always wanted to see them in concert, and last Saturday Sam and I were able to do just that. We left our kids with Heather (thanks, you're awesome) and took off for a night of awesomeness.

I didn't take a whole lot of pictures. We had descent seats, but every picture I took didn't turn out so well. Here are a couple of them.

Jon and Ritchie signing "I'll Be There For You".

"Every little boy wants to learn to play guitar so he can pick up all the chicks and be a rock and roll star."

The concert was unbelievably awesome. The bands sounds just as good live as they do on their cds. They did a good mix of their new stuff and their older stuff. They filmed the music video for their next single "When We Were Beautiful" at our concert, which will be cool when it comes out. I found this blog that keeps set lists from all their shows, and links to You Tube videos from that show. I hope they're still touring when our kids are older so that we cana take them.

Speaking of kids at the concert, a family that took two of their kids to the concert sat in front of us. The kids looked like 14 and 12. The son got all dressed up for the event:

The picture really doesn't show all aspects of this daring outfit. Lets start at the top; his hair was spray painted silver with streaks of maroon. As you can see on his wrists he wore... what are those even called? Spikey wrist things? You can't see it, but on his right arm we wore a fake tattoo sleeve. And his pants? Zubazs pants! Where do you even find Zubaz any more? Sweet! So, when I end up taking my boys to see Bon Jovi, I will insist they dress like this kid.

Another entertaining attendee sat a few seats away from us. Bless her heart, she danced the night away, albeit crazy looking and off beat. She seriously danced like Elaine on Seinfeld. It can best be described as "a full body dry heave set to music". If you don't know what I'm talking about, start watching this at about the 25 second mark:

Wow, I kind of went off topic there didn't I? Anyway, Bon Jovi Rocks!!! I ♥ Jon, Ritchie, David, and Tico!

With Tumbleweed, and Everything!

First of all, I know what you're thinking...Wow! That is really orange, right? Well, bear with me. I decided that we needed a little bit of a blog makeover, and what better look than that of a construction cone? And second of all, this is just sad. 1 post in the entire month of February. NONE in March?! This place has turned into a real life ghost town. Since Cameron claims to have nothing interesting to say, I am taking the reigns. That's right! I will pause for a minute while you jump up and do the dance of joy...done? Okay, good.
This is me, committing to write at least one family update a week, so that those of you whose lives are only worth living when you can read about our nonsense, can feel fulfilled. Normally, I will post on Sunday, but since yesterday was Easter, that idea kinda fell through. So, here you go, the first of many (hopefully) posts about our weekly chaos.

• Cameron and I forgot that it was Easter this weekend, until Thursday. That's right, folks, we really are THAT oblivious. Cameron went and did some emergency "Easter Bunny" shopping Friday after work. Saturday was then so busy, that we neglected to dye our eggs. So, the Easter Bunny hid plain white eggs, and we dyed them before dinner on Easter Sunday. Don't judge, the kids didn't seem to mind...
• I had an appointment with my cardiologist on Tuesday. NEWSFLASH!!! My valve leaks! Oh, wait, that's not news. No worries, it's not the valve they just replaced. It's the OTHER one. YEAH ME!!! What does this mean for me? Well, it means I get the pleasure of seeing my Dr. every 6 months, so they can monitor size change for my aorta and heart in general. Who knew that having a big heart was a BAD thing?! Luckily, it could be years and years until any intervention is needed, so I choose to look at it as just another side effect to my oober awesomeness. She did give me the all clear to ride roller coasters, which is awesome, especially considering that we bought season passes to Six Flags this year. How bad would that have been, to spend $50 on a pass, so I could ride the kiddie rides all summer?
• Cameron and I have recently discovered "How I Met Your Mother" and have gone from never having seen a single episode, to being completely caught up with the rest of the world in 4-6 weeks. Thank you, Netflix, DVD's for purchase, and some website who I question the legality of! You are the best!
• 5 days and counting until our big date out to see Bon Jovi in concert! WOO HOO!!! That is the main thing that Cameron got me for my birthday this year, but let's face it, it is just as much a gift for him. This is the last show that we are determined to see, so who knows who we will see next. My vote would probably be for Lady Antebellum.
• I GOT A NEW NEPHEW!!! Brandon and Diedre welcomed their second child to the world on April 3, and he couldn't be cuter. Don't believe me? Well...see for yourself:

His big brother's not half bad either! His name is Barton (yeah, like my other brother) Graham, but they plan to call him "Gray". I don't know what I'll call him yet, but I do know I wanna squish him! You can read about his arrival and all his stats here. Congrats to Brandon and Diedre, I know it's because of Diedre that these kids are so dang cute! Love you guys!

So there you have the most recent happenings around the Carter house. If we've lost our readership, I wouldn't be at all surprised, but please don't give up on us! I will do better...

Trip to the Dr. Pepper Museum

A while ago we decided to take a road trip with the kids to somewhere that was past the Wal-Mart in Rockwall. There are lots of things to do around Dallas and stuff, so we had a number of places we could have gone. We chose to go to the Dr. Pepper Museum in Waco. Why? Well, Dr. Pepper is good, and well, it qualified for road trip status. It was a two hour drive there, which wasn't too bad.

Here are the kids cooperating for a picture in front of the building. Good job, kids!

Here's an old Dr. Pepper delivery truck. Boo for no free Dr. Pepper handouts.

One of the first things you see when you enter the museum is this animatronic guy. I forget his name. He talked about the history of the Dr. Pepper making stuff or something for a long time. It was better than riding Space Mountain. The kids loved it.

You walk past creepy animatronic dude and one of the next rooms is this. It has a bunch of the old equipment they used to process and bottle Dr. Pepper back in the day. In this picture, Sam is reading the card to the kids. I'm sure it said something super awesome.

"Hey, maybe there's a secret door on this wall somewhere that will take us to the part of museum that doesn't suck." No such luck there, pal.

So yeah, the Dr. Pepper museum in Waco Texas is kind of lame. The first floor is the equipment and stuff and the second floor is the history of their marketing. Cool, you can spend 2 hours watching 60 years worth of Dr. Pepper commercials. Woo hoo! Of course, there is a gift shop, where you can buy a child's shirt for $15. Oh, and there is NO FREE DR. PEPPER ANYWHERE IN THE DR. PEPPER MUSEUM!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can buy a cup of hot Dr. Pepper in their snack area for like $5. Score!

Hey, at least we got out of the house and went somewhere we've never been before.

The Test Subject

I have been very neglectful of this blog lately. Anyone who follows it, must think that we just don't do anything interesting. That's not true...we have a whole trip to the Dr. Pepper Museum that we have yet to post about, but I really don't have time now to argue with Blogger about where I want my pictures to go, so that adventure will have to wait. Until then, I have had this little gem of a "blogworthy" story in my aresnal for about a month now.
First I'll set the stage: I was "sleeping in" one morning during Christmas break. This was early in the break, because Cameron still had to go to work, but the kids were out of school. By "sleeping in" I mean it was not yet 8 am, because I am almost always awake by 8 am, if the kids haven't had breakfast yet. Anyway...here's the story.
I was just beginning to awake from my pleasant slumber, when I hear the sound of my bedroom door being opened, and no fewer than 3 little bodies scurry in. They did not, however, make a sound. I'm assuming this is because it was light enough in the room that they could see that their father had already left for work, but I can't be absolutely sure. I then hear 3 little bodies exit as soundlessly as they had come. I then hear the following exchange in the hallway:

Peyton: "Where Daddy?"
Dylan: "He already left for work." "Go ask Mommy for breakfast."
Peyton: "Me? No, you."
A few moments pass, where I hear several feet run up the stairs.
Then I hear my door open once again, and this time 4 bodies enter my room. (I can only assume that they had gone to get reinforcements in the form of their older sister.) I then hear Andi say: "Shhh, she's still sleeping. Don't wake her up."
They exited again, and I hear a few exchanges out in the hall that may or may not have included drawing straws to see who would be the best candidate for the job. I know I also heard a few words involving "But I'm hungry now!" but the memory has become a little fuzzy. Apparently after some deliberation, I hear my door open one more time, and the sound of two little feet scurrying accross the floor. Then I hear Dylan exclaim from the hallway to his croanies: "It's going to be alright...I sent Soni in!"
It was then that I lost it. I couldn't pretend to be asleep any longer. Especially since a matter of seconds later, my diaper clad princess climbed up on my bed, tackled me, and said: "HEWO, MOMMY!"
Should I be worried that my older 3 children so easily sent thier baby sister into "the lion's den"? Should I be even more concerned that my children view me as the grumpy bear that they must not wake from hibernation? Whatever their reasoning, I am just grateful that they have been well trained to wake up their dad...even if he is not.